Fun Priest Loses License For Having A Briefcase Full Of Dildos

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An Italian priest faces defrocking after allegations were made that he organised orgies on church property.

Don Andrea Contin, a priest in Padua, Italy, was accused of always carrying a “briefcase full of vibrators, sex toys, masks and bondage equipment”.

He is also accused of having as many as 30 lovers and taking trips with them to a naturist swingers’ resort in France, despite taking a vow of celibacy.

Honest to god, people cant even have fun anymore. If you can’t organize a good ole fashioned sex romp in your church, where can you? How many dildos and vibrators is too many to be considered unpriestly? 10? 20? Is twenty dildos too many dildos for a priest to stick in his parishioners? Reading the bible and theology works can’t make you cum. You know what can? Sex romps on the church grounds with your pals, so I don’t blame this priest at all.

Being a priest would be boring as hell. If you can’t go around fucking the adults that you should be leading to a more moral life that represents God and your beliefs, it almost doesn’t seem worth it.

That being said, I do feel like always carrying the case of vibrators is just a little forward. Sure, preparation is key but you look like a bit of a weirdo if you are ALWAYS ready for a good dildoing session. That’s the only issue I have with the priest. I dont want my priest to be ready to dildo a churchgoer at the drop of the hat. Romance is real and important. Make the churchgoer wait for it. That’s all I’m sayin.