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My Fear Of Dave Portnoy Made Me Piss My Shorts This Week

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I’ve written about this before, but I swear to God, Dave Portnoy has a sixth sense where he can mentally detect when I’m doing something that I can’t use my phone while I’m doing it. And it will literally be 10-15 minutes out of my day to where I’m in a scenario such as this, and he’ll fucking find it. Without fail. It happened earlier this week, and since then, I’ve been too afraid to put my phone on silent or not have it in my line of vision at all times. But that’s the dedication that I have to this job. I will literally pause mid-piss and piss all over myself for this company. That’s the Barstool Difference.