There they are. The Royal Couple fresh off a plane at the Eastern Iowa airport. Trying to blend in with us regular folk but that’s impossible when you’re royalty. They’re pretty much glowing. I’m a little surprised they’re not being carried out of the airport on the shoulders of worshipping Iowans but those people must’ve been waiting for them to come outside. Not exactly sure why they’re back in town. But I guess who needs a reason to visit Iowa? It’s paradise. But they probably came back to celebrate their recent engagement and pregnancy with Ashton’s family/get started on the paperwork that’ll eventually make them my legal guardians. One or the other. One thing I do know is they went out to dinner in North Liberty last night and didn’t invite me but that’s fine. I was busy eating multiple bowls of cereal in my boxers and watching basketball anyway. I’m sure we’ll catch each other next time.