This Hot Redhead Has A Quality Tinder Bio That's All About Her Love Of Dick
Nothing like mixing a little dick talk to show she’s a goer along with some quality comedy. Hell the fact that she knows what a urologist is probably puts her ahead of half the chicks you’ll swipe by on Tinder on any given toilet session. All I know is I’m looking for three things in a girl any time I’m swiping: Something resembling a sense of humor, a good face or hot body (both would be ideal but beggars/choosers etc), and a 50% chance that she’ll be willing to gleefully handle my genitals in a timely fashion. This girl has made it abundantly clear that she’s hitting all of the above and, hey, we can share the whole not having a soul thing. At least her lack of one is genetic.
AND HEY IT’s 2017 AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A BRAND SPANKING NEW TINDER ROUNDUP!!!! And in case you live under a rock or a normal place that doesn’t see a tasteful amount of promotion, last night was the official debut of Swipe Drunk Love as a Barstool show on Facebook Live. Watch the video here or listen below while you read this blog:
Double the Spags, double the pleasure…your support as we get this one off the ground is greatly and genuinely appreciated. Thanks to the folks who tuned in as well as all the people who kept my DMs popping with screenshots all holiday break to make this the best dating blog around, make sure to follow me and DM yours in, and without further adieu let’s get to the screenshots:
(via TM)
Reality stars are the new cheerleaders on Bumble (via JT)
A retired porn star’s “roster” might be the most daunting thing I’ve ever seen on a profile (via JF)
Not mentioning any names but it sure seems like someone isn’t a fan of good credit (via GB)
We have very different definitions of perfection (via R)
Oh well, as long as you’re trying to get your shit together with heroin nbd, the effort is the thing(via JJS)
And they say romance is dead (via TR)
You could break a keyboard trying to add the right amount of Cs to communicate how thiccccccccccccccccc this girl is (via C)
I will never let down a big titted blonde girl chugging from a bottle. Well, anyway but sexually (via TA)
I wouldn’t mind tickling the ol’ ivories here (via MW)
Maybe Harambe committed suicide (via DG)
Your competition for the week is Pres if he were drawn by a lazy caricature artists (via A)
(via LG)
The Swipe Drunk Love Pickup Line of the Week is already paying dividends, no need to thank us America (via FH)
This week’s reminder that this trans girl is prettier than just about every chick you’ve evcer dated and this isn’t even an exaggeration this time (via ZD)
Another reminder you’d probably bang a trans girl, gotta keep you on your toes in 2017 (via B)
This week’s reminder I have no fucking clue what is going on here (via NC)
#blackvaginasmatter (via EB)
A lot of men swear by former fat girls because they get a better personality, a sense of loyalty, and usually keep the low self esteem…I had a point here but I guess what I’m saying is Yes on Proposition Former Fat Girls (via EE)
Not a real cheerleader on Bumble and this is way late for a Halloween costume but this is a harrrrrd yes for me (via DG)
(via FE)
How to get friend zoned on Tinder: A one act play (via A)
And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…
The #SpagsPromise, another year, another effort to collect every set of nips on every dating app and based on this 2017 is going to be a BIG one (via M)
A smart girl #SpagsPromise makes us all a little classier by extension (via DD)
~*just SUNY Plattsburgh things*~ (via RS)
The faintest hint of a pierced #SpagsPromise on a hot chick with cannons…2017 is killing it so far (via WK)
I don’t often put out direct requests for girls in this blog to sit on my face but I would be doing myself and you all a disservice if I didn’t try (via BS)
Hopefully her dad has an open mind to Sunday dinner discussions about analingus (via JM)
This is a little bit of a Where’s Waldo #SpagsPromise but it just worked for me (via PA)
Aaaand it’s time to make a mental note to jerk off later to Mike In Brazil (via GM)
Officially approved social media follow of the week if you like girls with tight bodies and seemingly endless beach days (via ED)
Real fucking stupid glasses on this #SpagsPromise (via MF)
As our Pardon My Take friends might say, that’s some Big J journalism right there (via DM)
I hope this #SpagsPromise is using “kitten” as a euphemism (via RB)
If you’re gonna do a far away naked butt shot that’s how you do it (via AN)
For as popular as bralessness is in America now, there’s nothing like seeing a classic European girl #SpagsPromise (via LP)
If that’s her real name you know you’re in for a classy lady (via C)
I prefer more tasteful makeup on my #SpagsPromises but I’m not gonna look the tit horse in the mouth (via CMK)
I assume she means a hot bisexual girl type of unicorn and not an actual one but who knows, it’s 2017 suck off a unicorn horn if you want (via RC)
A little too far away of a far away butt shot but I won’t pretend I’m not intrigued (via CC)
Classic hot bisexual girl problems (via MB)
And there you have it, another week in the books. Follow me on Twitter and DM in your screenshots (throw Swipe Drunk Love a follow too please, I don’t ask for much), thanks to the folks who sent things in, and happy swiping!