Having A Boneless Dick Is Actually Pretty Sweet
Independent – Scientists have discovered why humans do not have a penis bone, unlike chimpanzees, bears and most other mammals.
The penis bone, or baculum, first evolved in mammals around 145 and 95 million years ago, according to new research from University College London. The study’s lead author Matilda Brindle told The Independent one of the reasons humans had lost their penis bone was because we do not have sex for long enough to need one.
Alright so pretty huge news coming out of science this weeks. Turns out that us dudes don’t have dick bones because we fuck bad and never last long enough to need one. Kind of insulting of science to put us all on blast like that but also, thank you to science for thinking that I have sex. Pretty cool of you guys.
Anyway, even though science basically told the world that we’re all premature ejaculators, I have to admit that I’m pretty stoked about not having a dick bone. It’s kind of a catch 22 situation here. Like on one hand, you can be really dope at sex but then you have this bone in your cock that at the very least would be a nuisance and at the very worst could snap in half. And on the other hand, you could suck at sex but at least you don’t have an actual bone going through your dong. And I think that’s the best scenario here for all of us for a couple of reasons. 1) because if we all suck at sex then nobody sucks at sex, really. And 2) the same reason why boneless wings are better than regular chicken wings. Everything is just more complicated and messy when bones are involved.
Like I said above, if you have a bone in your dick then that means there’s a chance you could break said bone in said dick. Just typing out that sentence made me want to vomit with pain. Also–having a soft dick is usually pretty sweet. You can pee way easier because you can just stand above the toilet and not have to aim. It doesn’t get in your way if you have to do any sort of athletic activity. You can stand up in public without people thinking you’re some pervert rocking a bonedawg. I don’t know. I guess I just like the ability to choose between if my dick is hard or not. If you had a an actual bone in there, then you wouldn’t have those options. So sure. We, as human men, aren’t as good at sex as other species in the world. But I still think we made out like a bunch of bandits in this situation and I’m proud of my boneless dick. I think you should be to.
Thank you for your time.