Bitch Cowboys Kid Cries Like A Bitch That His Bitch Cowboys Are Only 11-2

Oh boo fucking hoo, kid. I really only have one thing to say, and for that I eloquently turn to The Tourettes Guy for maximum effect:

For real. This little shit too young to know real pain. You know isn’t worth crying over? Being 11-2 with a rookie QB, younger RB, the best offensive line in the league while most likely having the road to the Super Bowl go through your Crypt Keeping Coot’s personal billion dollar playground. You know what is legitimately sad? Going 56 years without a championship with no future in sight. Yes, we have Carson Wentz at QB. You know what else we have. Doug Fucking Pederson at head coach. A GM who has been around for 5+ seasons that’s gone through three, THREE “Rebuilding” processes and 0 playoff wins. And, most importantly, an owner who cares more about his image and controlling everyone than winning. Fuck you, kid. Listen to your mother and hit the fucking showers.

This kid is right about one thing, Cowboys ain’t beating the Giants in the playoffs. The only thing Eli Manning likes more than searching for his missing chromosome is magically winning when it matters once every 5 years.