The 30-Year-Old Brooklyn Man That Got Mugged By Four Kids Between The Ages Of 8 And 14 Should Be Ashamed Of Himself

DNA Info- A group of kid muggers — one believed to be as young as 8 years old — attacked and robbed a man as he was walking home near Long Island University’s Brooklyn campus, police said. The four suspects — described as between 8 and 14 years old — approached the 30-year-old victim and demanded his phone as he was walking past 191 Willoughby St. on Nov. 25 around 12:30 a.m., the NYPD said. They then began punching the man and threw him to the ground before stealing his Jack Spade laptop bag, a library book titled “Thinking, Fast and Slow” and headphones worth a total of $130, police said.

Listen, not many people on Earth scare me more than city kids. They have spent their formative years living in a concrete jungle full of fuck ups, garbage, and vile nonsense most humans can’t imagine. This place can crack full grown men from other cities. But if you are raised in the darkness like Bane, it only makes you stronger. Like I’ve said in the past, living in New York is like playing on All-Madden. You can’t get much more hardened in my mind than growing up your whole life in New York. A week or two after Barstool HQ opened up in NYC, I had some 16ish year-old punk blow weed smoke right in my face and I kept walking. Partially so he didn’t know how much he rattled me and partially because I wasn’t going to fuck with a kid that has probably had more “real” life experiences.

That being said, this dude has to sack the fuck up and fight these little fuckers once they start trying to steal his shit. Three kids that barely qualify as teenagers and a fucking 8-YEAR-OLD should be a piece of cake. At least establish dominance by unleashing some old man strength on the 8-year-old with a solid right hook and set the tone for a fight. I think I could take at least 6 kids from the age of 12-14. It seems like a lot but when you get older, everyone looks like babies. Hell, half of the interns at Barstool HQ look like they are still sucking on a teet and they are almost twice as old as these city kids. If you can’t crack a couple of young’ns skulls to avoid the awkward police report that shortly followed, you shouldn’t be within 100 miles of New York.

Then again, this guy was dead the moment he checked out a library book in 2016. Those kids probably smelled fresh meat from a mile away.