ESPN Stats & Info–?@ESPNStatsInfo – According to FPI, the Eagles have an 0.00002% chance to make the playoffs (5,000,000-1 odds).
Step right up! Step right up! The House Of Smitty is taking any and all bets for the Eagles to make the playoffs! One George Washington could get you five, yes – FIVE Million dollars in return! You’d be an outright sucker not to dance with this devil by the pale moon light.
Why am I doing this? Well, it’s simple. I spent the majority of the off-season basing my entire reputation on the Eagles eating their own ass this season and beyond. Almost every move I (deservingly) ripped to shreds and then some. So OF COURSE the Eagles start out immaculate with a 3-0 start which included a curb stomping of the Steelers, a team considered one of the NFL’s elite. A move that forced me to admit my faults as a man, swallow all the prides, and proclaim Doug fucking Pederson a good coach and Howie Roseman an adequate GM. Annnnndddd for no other reason than God hating myself and the land of Philly, the Eagles have fallen to 5-8 and are officially less than dogshit. A .00002% chance to make the playoffs with 3 games left after starting 3-0 level of feces. Therefore, the ONLY way the Eagles can make the postseason this year is to open up the bank and take outrageous bets that will cost me my existence. Because I GUARANTEE the Eagles will make the playoffs if I put millions (and essentially my life/soul) on the line against them. This team will do everything they can to ruin me, inside and out. So here I am taking one for the team and the city of Philadelphia. Step right up! Bet for the Birds and not only see them make a run for the Super Bowl, but have power of attorney over every one of my great-great-great-grandchildren’s estates.
Oh how far public opinion has changed. This was after Week 3: