I get that nobody actually watches new episodes of The Simpsons these days. And I get that Wayne Gretzky always had Marty McSorley there to fight his battles for him during his playing days. But really, Wayne? Really? I love you, man. I think of you as a God. But this was just an abomination of a performance here by The Great One.
You’re a Hockey Guy, Wayne. I know you’re not technically an enforcer by normal hockey standards. But any Hockey Guy is an enforcer at heart. It’s in our DNA. You can’t just scream “he’s got a gun!” and then skate away like a little baby back bitch. That’s something LeBron would do. You’ve got a puck, you’ve got a stick, and you’ve scored 894 goals in your NHL career. You’re telling me that Wayne couldn’t cut across the middle of the ice and dome shot that elf with a clapper? Then drop the mitters, pull the sweater over his head and bash his face into a bloody pulp? I need more from you, Wayne. It pains me to say these things because again, he’s the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a God. I guess I just expected more from the guy.
P.S. – The Great One looks way better decked out in his Warrior Covert QRL Pro gear. Best gear on the market. Believe that.