Warning: This might be NSFW because it features a lot of male butt crack. Not the sensual kind or anything but I’m going to warn you all the same.
I’m not sure this one is going to make it as a last minute entry to my 2016 Internet Fight Video of the Year award contention but as far as showmanship and man on man dominance goes, this one is up there with any others we’ve seen this year. The kid ate a sucker punch square on the jaw from point blank range, turned the tables on the other kid, and even treated us to a minute afterwards of the kid who threw the sucker punch whining and complaining in the most stereotypical White Kid In A North Face Who Acted Like A Dick Then Got His Ass Kicked of ways. But overall the part I respect the most is how the big fat kid wasn’t self conscious at all as his floppy mofongo-bred titties were flopping all over the place and his pants seemingly were hanging onto him by a thread because he was so singularly focused on beating that kid’s ass. And then to top it off with the casual “hold my shirt, hold my chain” as he doles out a helpful and painful life lesson to the other dude who refused to go outside and settle it like men…it’s just a strong and confident performance all around. We should all be inspired. This kid is my Ashley Graham, a plus sized beacon of hope in an otherwise dreary world.
At the same time I don’t blame either of these dudes one bit for needing to throw hands in that college party for ants-sized room. Yeah let’s put 40 maybe drunk dudes who don’t know each other in a 4×4 space and I’m sure things’ll stay super chill. Big dude probably wanted to go fight outside just to be able to breathe a little.