I think we can all agree that parades are the worst thing ever, right? Like I’m sure they were cool when TV didn’t exist. Watching people walk in usually freezing cold temperatures was better than dying of polio or whatever was popular back then. Sitting on a crowded ass sidewalk to watch balloons and cars drive by is straight up loony toons. I mean if you want to pay your respects to the police, firemen, or troops, that’s cool. But to actually leave the comfort of your own home to sit in traffic, pick out a good spot, and be around annoying ass people is shit that even the amish shake their heads at.
But this parade changes all of that. Pure electricity. I honestly don’t know if it was a Christmas parade or just a parade celebrating life. But it was perfect on every level. Minnie shaking that mouse ass, the Minion dropping it like it’s fuego, and if you didn’t audibly gasp when Kung Fu Panda popped the split, you need to get your pulse checked. And how about the narrator? Matt Lauer’s ass is officially on the hot seat. Now will somebody please go break the news to Mr. Peanut that his reign on the top was short like leprechauns.