— PatriotsSB51 (@PatriotsSB49) December 6, 2016
Sure, I could gloat about D’Qwell Jackson getting four games suspended for PED use. He was, after all, the Patient Zero of Deflategate. The Colts linebacker who intercepted a Tom Brady pass, carried the football to the sidelines and said some version of “Hey fellas, does this ball feel kinda squishy to you?” And the greatest scandal in the history of sports was born. But I won’t. Because none of that never happened.
Jackson was not the one who uncovered the nefarious plot between Brady, The Deflator and Dorito Dink, he was a patsy. He wasn’t Woodward and Bernstein or the “Spotlight” catching pedophile priests, he was Lee Harvey Oswald. (Note: Oswald acted alone; he’s just the first example your brain goes to.) The Ravens put the Colts up to trying to nail the Patriots, Mike Kensil ran the sting operation, and Chuck Pagano and Ryan Grigson used Jackson as a fall guy.
But still, it’s impossible not to notice how everyone that was on the wrong side of history on D-gate has had all manner of ills visited upon them. Kensil got shipped off to China, where he’s presumably making NFL-themed iPhones in a factory someplace. The Ravens went 5-11, the Colts 8-8 and both missed the playoffs. Pagano and Grigson barely survived getting fired and won’t likely do so again. ESPN is losing viewers by the millions and is the financial drain on a Disney empire that owns properties like Pixar and Marvel. NFL ratings are down league wide. I won’t lump Chris Mortensen in here out of simple humanity (get well soon). Instead I’ll point out that the one guy who defended Brady and Bill Belichick as hard as me and Portnoy got elected President of the United States.
Deflategate is the Ark of the Covenant. And anyone that was involved in opening it has had the wrath of an angry, Old Testament God unleashed upon them. The only difference between that God and Belichick though, is He forgives. Our god will just keep bringing the retribution until there are no more faces left to melt.