The First Thing Trump Does Every Morning Is Get All The Newspaper Clips Written About Him

This is just smart. Show biz 101*. If you’re going to stay on top of the game you got to know what they’re saying about you. Know what they’re writing about you. Know who’s got your back and who’s after your throat. Of course Trump’s got a pile of VHS tapes and newspaper clips all about himself waiting for him as soon as he wakes up. I think I’m gonna make crazy Intern Robbie start combing through twitter and reddit and compiling all the shit people are saying about me so I can read it when I wake up at noon. Really want to know who I need to go after — we’ll start with Joe Breen.

*Because we did after all elect a reality TV star to be the next president of the United States.