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Stephen Hawking To Fat People Everywhere: It's Not Rocket Science Why You're Fat

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USA Today- Science superstar Stephen Hawking is taking a break from solving the mysteries of the universe to address the obesity crisis plaguing some parts of the world. In a public service announcement, Hawking notes that too many people are dying from health related problems associated with obesity. “We eat too much and move too little,” Hawking said in the ad for the non-profit Swedish health organization GEN-PEP. Physical inactivity is the fourth leading cause of death globally, according to the World Health Organization. Hawking notes that it’s time to change that. “Fortunately the solution is simple: More physical activity and change in diet,” Hawking said, adding, “It’s not rocket science.”

Hey Stephen lemme ask you a question, who the fuck do you think you are? Here I thought you were just a pessimistic man of science but it turns out you’re a bully too. That’s fucked up. Does it make you feel big when you make fun of fat people, Stephen? Huh? Does it? Does it make you feel cool? Do you think that doing alcohol and making fun of fat people is cool? Well it’s not. Of course we fat people know why we’re fat. It really isn’t rocket science. I can’t stop eating. Eating is fucking awesome. You know what’s not awesome? Exercising. It is hands down the worst thing in the world. So to recap. Eating is awesome + exercising isn’t awesome = lots of fat people. Ohhhhh you cracked the code, Stephen. Good job. That’s actually not on us though. That’s on Stephen’s precious science. Why didn’t his holy science make humans love exercising and hate eating food? Riddle me that Mr. Hawking. That’s what I thought. And yes, I purposely didn’t make any jokes about Hawking or his illness because I’m not a bully like him. I’m gonna be the bigger man and walk away.