Spags' Rock/Paper/Scissors Form Is One Of The Most Absurd Things I've Ever Witnessed

In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the ratings you haven’t, Spags joined @BalesFootball and I for today’s Barstool Fantasy Hour. Long story short, since nobody at Barstool has been aware this podcast has existed for, I don’t know, 3 fucking football seasons, we have to fight for real estate to do the podcast. Ultimately, yesterday was a fudge-packed-house in the office for the game and it came down to the never used Barstool Confessional closet and PMT’s Exit Interview Room (aka the shitter) to record. So we settled who was going where like men: Best Of 3 In Rock/Paper/Scissors.

Needless to say, I was taken back when Spags decided to come in flamboyant with these defective jazz hands. He went to USC, is that a West Coast thing? Cause I haven’t seen something that outrageous on this planet. And I respect to move. Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. If you can get an edge by making me question your sexuality mid-toss (not that there’s anything wrong with that), more power to you. Screw it, sneeze glitter on me after firing every shot. Whatever it takes, but it has to work. If not, you’re just that psychopath with the floppy wrist. But I guess that’s just the way Spags rolls. Hoarding all the Barstool girls while keeping people on their toes in games of chance. More power to him.

I won 2-0 and sent him to the shitter, btw. Spags doesn’t realize nothing beats rock. Ricj flies right through paper. In Mickey Abbott, we all trust.

PS – If you don’t make eye contact with your opponent during the duration of the RPS match then nobody deserves to look you in the eye. Ever.