Nobody Shows Up for a Kid’s Ninth Birthday So His Mom Documents the Experience Online

DailyMail — ‘This ninth birthday was supposed to be his year. His special day. His first real party with friends,’ Ms Layne wrote.  The doting mother chose a ‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ theme because it is Mahlon’s favorite book series, and ordered him custom invitations on Etsy, an edible cake topper, and even planned some fun Diary of a Wimpy Kid-themed games. ‘He handed out multiple invitations to his friends at school, and one [friend] from taekwondo, and eagerly counted down the days, hours, and minutes until his birthday,’ she wrote. ‘When his birthday finally arrived yesterday, he was up before the sun. He hung streamers, blew up balloons, cleaned his room, took a bath, picked out his outfit, set the table, and carefully assembled the treat bags for his friends. ‘“Only three more hours until my friends arrive,” he yelled. “This is the happiest day of my life, Momma. I can’t wait until my friends get here!”‘ Ms Layne shared pictures of her son posing by the party decorations all smiles as he waited for his friends to arrive.

But when the party start time came and passed, Ms Layne started to worry. Ms Layne considered cancelling the party but her son had assured her that five of his friends were definitely coming.  Ms Layne watched as her little boy ran up and down the street anxiously waiting for his party guests. ‘But no one came. Not a single child,’ Ms Layne added. She explained that, despite having ordered enough pizza to ‘feed a small army’, planned plenty of party games and ordered a large cake, only Mahlon’s family members turned up to celebrate with him. ‘No one came Dad. I guess I’m not very popular at school,’ Ms Layne described her son as saying, adding that he later started sobbing when he realized nobody was going to turn up.

 
BRUTAL. Absolutely brutal. I think this is where vine stars come from. Just a bunch of kids whose parents live blogged nobody showing up to their birthday parties. I’m not even going to post the bazillion pictures of the kid’s face on this blog because I’m a degenerate, childless, very occasional smut blogger and yet somehow I have better parenting instincts than this chick. I mean, this should be illegal. It’s defamation of character. It’s nightmare stuff inviting like 30 people to celebrate you being alive while offering them cake and candy and having each and every one of them go, “ehhhhhh, pass”. What if this kid wants to run for president 28 years from now? Say what you will about Trump. Say what you will about Hillary. But you can’t tell me with 100% certainty that everyone bailed on their ninth birthday party. How does getting emancipated work? Let’s get this kid into the system.