Crain's Names Top 5 Coolest Offices In Chicago, Somehow Barstool-Chicago Misses The Cut

(Source) From fully stocked bars to double-decker buses, Zen oases to dairy cafes, this year’s coolest offices are designed to turn heads, reinforce brand identities and create welcoming environments for visitors and staffers alike. Take a tour of five recently created interiors and find out how the people who collaborate in them every day feel about the experience. One common denominator: Many of the coolest offices feature open floor plans, an increasingly common and relatively inexpensive workspace layout that aims to promote collaboration and flatten out hierarchies. Mintel Group Ltd. takes it a step further, employing a “hot-seating” system that lets staffers choose the desk they occupy each day — and, in effect, rotate around the office.

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Do did I miss the phone call or what? I don’t get it. Crains says they went through all the offices in Chicago and found the top 5 but when was my visit? Kind of fucked up if you ask me because I see their top 5 and I hit every thing on the list. Everything.

Open Layouts?

Check

Free Food?

Check. King Size nbd but kbd.

Art?

Only the finest

Fully stocked bar?

Bottomless coffee, ever heard of it.

Oh and that Nerf gun, that’s to keep company morale high/shoot at my dog when she barks in the window.

Proximity to coworkers to promote collaboration?

Never more than 10 feet away.

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Other Amenities include

– Two TV’s

-No dress code

-Non mandatory showering schedule

-Extremely lax masturbation policy

-Refrigerator, bed, and couch all on site

So way to go Crains, take your entire journalistic integrity and throw it out the window. Next time you want to talk about dope office spaces you come to Barstool Chicago first. Free coffee on me*.

*Bring your own mug though because I only have 2 and one of them is my used lollipop holder.