Backstory of how I got the greatest resume ever written in my possession–I’m a recruiter and had posted a position on LinkedIn. Normally, I weed out international applicants. There was a higher power looking out for me on this one. It was late Friday afternoon, and I was clicking through some of the resumes when I stumbled upon the greatest piece of literature ever created. Please make sure to scroll through all 25 (twenty-five!) pages of this resume.
What a roller coaster ride that was. I mean I was all in on this guy right up until this part of the resume.
No chance this dude works out. Like who are you kidding Muhammad? You have the flabbiest body of all time. It’s almost like he forgot he included a bazillion pictures of himself.
BUT he drew me back in with his weaknesses page. His only weakness is he works so hard that he neglects every single aspect of his life except working hard. Dwight Schrute 101. You can’t teach that shit.