(Source) Some people feel screwed by BART (especially as of late) while others prefer to screw on BART. And then there’s this guy, who just wants to screw BART in that sexual sort of way. A San Francisco man who was seen having sexual relations with a BART seat was acquitted of indecent exposure charges, but was convicted of lewd conduct, which is a misdemeanor.
Leslie Bailey, 28, got into this mess on May 8, after he boarded a Dublin-Pleasanton bound train at San Francisco’s 16th Street Station. Once on board the mostly empty train, Bailey sat in a seat in the front which abutted the operator’s cab. The BART operator testified that when she looked back to see if it was safe to close the doors, she noticed Bailey on his knees, thrusting his hips into his BART seat. Bailey, who appeared not to notice the operator, continued to rub against the seat until the train reached … the Civic Center Station. He reportedly ran off the train, then rushed back on board just before the doors closed. Bailey walked back to his same preferred seat, where he gyrated on his stomach while his feet dangled into the aisle, according to the Public Defender’s Office. The operator testified that Bailey then rolled from his belly to his side and appeared to be masturbating and smoking crack cocaine simultaneously. She called dispatch who then alerted BART police of the one-man love fest.
During the trial, Dahm argued that Bailey was not trying to direct public attention to himself, which is what is needed to convict someone of indecent exposure. In fact, Bailey’s out-of-the-way seat choice, lack of eye contact or conversation with anyone, and efforts to remain hidden from everyone else served as evidence that the homeless man did not want others to witness his behavior, his attorney said. “Mr. Bailey thought he was having a private moment — unfortunately, he picked a really inappropriate place,” Dahm said. An expert in addiction and pharmacology also testified that Bailey had been prescribed anti-psychotic medication that he had not been regularly taking, not to mention he had been binging on cocaine which didn’t help. “High doses of cocaine cause delirium and can make users unaware of their surroundings and misperceive their own behavior,” according to the testimony.
Well lesson learned I guess. If you want to fuck a train seat make sure the one you choose is in the way back and that you don’t look anyone in the eye while stroking your penis. As long as you follow those two rules the very worst you face is a misdemeanor.
I mean if I read this whole story correctly I think Leslie Bailey just found the greatest loophole in the world right? Public masturbation is just a slap on the wrist as long as you make even a small attempt at being private. Because that’s all that was. His lawyer is a magician or something because that defense doesn’t even make sense. Oh yeah he thought he was alone and having sex with a train seat in utter privacy even though the fact that he was fucking a train seat means that he was physically on a train which means he was out in public and by that very nature the absolute opposite of being private. But yeah, he totally didn’t mean to disturb anyone with his crack pipe and erect penis.
Not for nothing but our train seats suck compared to San Francisco’s. I looked at that seat and got turned on. I look at this L seat and am completely flaccid. The thought of fucking it didn’t even cross my mind. Disgusting.