A Yankee Fan's Guide To The Wild Card Games

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The postseason kicks off today and in a shocking turn of events, the Yankees have respectfully declined participating this year. It shows the true class of the Yankees organization to give some of the have nots a chance. As a fan base we are left without watching our team play and as much as we would like to say we just won’t watch, some dumbass tweet is going to suck us in.

So who are we cheering for? In each round I’ll let you know who we should be cheering for because of what is best for business. Let kick off with the Wild Card games. Spoiler: The Mets and everyone in the AL East losing is best for business.

Orioles vs. Blue Jays

This is a tough one because I hate both of these franchises. On one side you have the Orioles who are for the most part a joke of an organization with a team that overachieved with shit pitching. On the other side you have the Blue Jays, which is a team full of Dominicans that came to America to play baseball, only to end up in Canada. Also, everyone on that team is a huge dickhead. Everything about them just sucks. From the way they conduct themselves on the field, to in the dugout, to their stupid haircuts. Dickheads.

With the feeling that the Orioles don’t have the firepower to make a deep run and the knowledge that the Blue Jays can get very hot very fast, plus they’re dickheads, we want the Orioles here. Send Toronto home now and make the rest of the playoffs an all-America party.

Mets vs. Giants

Last year I didn’t comment about the Mets until deep into the playoffs. I didn’t think they were a real threat and boy did they prove me wrong. This year we’re not making the same mistake. Fuck em. Fuck em early and fuck em often. Fuck the Mets. The odds are stacked against the Mets because they have to face Madison Bumgarner. Bumgarner has a 5-1 record with a 0.91 ERA in the playoffs and even is the Mets do win, they have so few pitchers that Clem is on the hill for game 2.

We need to Mets to lose now because if they make it to the next round, they’ll be full of excuses when the Cubs blow their doors off. Plus, who wants to see all these Met fans in NYC wearing those god awful colors for another day? No one.

Once we get through these games I’ll let Yankees fans know who in the divisional round we hate, and who we hate just a little less.