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Absolut Vodka Says It Captured The Essence Of Chicago In Their New "Absolut-Chicago" When In Reality It's Just A Marketing Gimmick To Trick Your Girlfriend



Absolut says it has captured the essence of the Windy City in a bottle, but it doesn’t taste like Italian beef or deep dish. The vodka maker on Monday unveiled Absolut Chicago, with the essence of olive and rosemary. The limited edition vodka comes in a bottle splashed with a city-scape design. Absolut Chicago is the seventh city-inspired flavor the company has introduced. The first was New Orleans (mango and black pepper) in 2007, followed by Los Angeles, Boston, Brooklyn, San Francisco and Miami It’s not clear how long the flavor will be available.



Does anyone actually buy this shit? I mean other than chicks. Like I don’t understand who Absolut Vodka thinks they’re tricking here. We captured the essence of the Windy City? No you didn’t. You put a few Chicago pictures on a bottle added some gross ingredients and tried to tell us how special it is. It’s still vodka. There is nothing unique about this. If you buy this specifically because it “bottled Chicago” then you’re a sucker, plain and simple. Not to mention Chicago has already been bottled and the bottle is called Malort. That’s the essence of Chicago. That toxic yellow bitter liquor.



And if you’ve never had Malort well then you’ve never lived. It’s basically like cuddling a puppy while watching the sun rise on a mountain top breathing in fresh natural air, except take all that and do the exact opposite.