Stud Warning: America's Bad Boy Mike Greenberg Could Be Given His Own Morning Show On ESPN
The Bad Boy Of ESPN, Mike “50 Shades of” Greenberg has had audences eating out of the palm of his dick for decades, and thank God he might finally be in line to get his own show on ESPN mornings at long last according to Pardon My Take’s Sports Illustrated’s Richard Deitsch.
Nothings decided yet but from the report, it sure sounds the solo show (which should 100% be called Mike & Mic) would be the AM version of late night SC with Van Pelt. While you might not totally understand the appeal of Greeny, his ratings among the nations confirmed sex-having moms is off the charts at least according to ESPN’s SVP of talent, who’s said, “I want Mike & Mike to be able to be on with the moms driving the kids in the backseat to school” in which case you can expect Fox Sports to counterprogram with Harry Connick Jr reading Ginuwine lyrics.
Greenie’s got enough sheer masculinity to make a ghost cum, so while I can see why ESPN thinks of him as a surefire ratings hit, lets not ignore the ensuing public health danger that could present themselves with a nation full of soccer moms all over the roads strategically positioning there side of the car over the rumble strips on the sideway biting their lips and putting the cum back in commute. Mike’s the guy your momma warned you to stay away from, because she wants him all to herself.
Don’t act like you wouldnt watch Greenie Unleashed either. Finally free from America’s Friendzone Mike Golic, unrestrained to drip his hottest takes about airline food and Northwestern lacrosse all up in America’s cloaca. Its in no uncertain terms, a move to bring back the bad boy days of ESPN mornings we all remember with rebel hosts like Jack Edwards and Steve Berthiume. Dont just give him his own show. Give him his own Grantland style website dedicated to serving the unrepresented white middle aged american Northwestern Medill sports journalist community, finally.