Iowa Press-Citizen- Police say an Iowa City man posed as an FBI agent in order to rob a victim he allegedly met in a Coralville motel for sex. Dwaine A. Toran, 51, of Lakeside Drive, met the victim at about 2 p.m. Wednesday at Big Ten Inn on First Avenue after a third party arranged for a sex act between Toran and the victim, according to a Coralville Police complaint. Claiming to be a FBI agent, Toran refused to let the victim leave the inn, according to police. Toran then took $150 from the victim and threatened to arrest and imprison him if he reported the incident, police say.
Right here is a classic case of somebody completely overthinking a situation. Just making something that shouldn’t be that hard really really hard and complicated. You know the scene in Office Space where the three guys are sitting around Peter’s apartment trying to figure out how to launder the money they’re going to steal and they come up with the grand scheme to do it through drug dealers that makes zero sense? That’s pretty much exactly what Dwaine is doing here. He’d never robbed anybody is his life so instead of simply robbing somebody the old fashioned way he came up with an elaborate, much-too-many-loose-ends plan to set up a sex date through a third party and then pretend to be an FBI agent when he got there. Do less, Dwaine. Do way less. And I can’t be the only one who was disappointed that he robbed the chick and didn’t have sex with her, right? Big time missed opportunity It would’ve been way more badass if he’d nailed her and then robbed her for the large lump sum of $150. It’ would’ve been like in Grand Theft Auto when you sleep with a hooker and kill her afterwards with a bat to get your money back.
PS- I recently played GTA 3 the other day for the first time in a long time after I saw a real-life Mafia Sentinel driving around town. That game is still ridiculously fun.