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Dangle Days Weekend Recap

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There are legends of the shootout. Pavel Datsyuk, Linus Omark, Sam Gagner just to name a few. But have any of those guys ever deked the goalie out of their pants before they even hit the faceoff circles before? Didn’t think so. One of the silkiest moves I’ve ever witnessed. And not only did he put the goalie on his ass with that stick handling, but he also dodged the stick toss as well. It takes a special pair of mitts to pull off a move like that. Welcome to the big leagues, kid. And with that Monday Morning Metaphor, let’s get on to the recap–your one-stop shop for all the sauce that was tossed this past weekend.

Austin Alger Puts The Omaha Lancers On The Map

Now being able to point out where Omaha is on that map is another story. It’s hard enough to get a hockey highlight on SportsCenter Top 10, let alone one from the USHL. But just like KG said, “anything is possibooooooh”. And I know I said that Corey Perry going between the legs in that same spot wasn’t necessary yesterday, But this was straight filth. The kind of goal that makes you want to vomit because it was so pretty. Speaking of Corey Perry, though, let’s quickly touch on the World Cup of Hockey.

I’m gonna go ahead and say this was the slickest goal from the World Cup this weekend. The forecheck. The strip. The little head fake to the backhand to get Bob to bite. Everything about this was proof that Crosby is the best at what he does and, unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about it.

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Trying to hand Crosby his first international L since 2010 will be….. Team Europe in the biggest surprise of the tournament so far. Even more shocking than how much dirty dog dick Team USA sucked. Tomas Tatar was very active with his feet yesterday, as you would expect from a guy playing for Team Europe–a soccer crazed continent. First, he owes Nicklas Backstrom a new stick.

Then he put away the Swedes in overtime.

No distinct kicking motion, the goal stands and Europe is on to the best-of-3 final against Canada. Is it the best possible scenario for the growth of the game? Probably not. I’m sure there will be plenty of people who turn on ESPN tomorrow night, see that it’s Canada vs Team Europe, have no idea why a country is playing a continent (neither of which are USA), and go back to watching re-runs of Family Guy on TBS. But everybody counted Team Europe out of this tournament the moment it was announced they’d had a team. So for everybody who was going to watch this tournament regardless of match ups from the beginning, let’s get weird. Let’s go European bastard squad.

And oh yeah, shoutout to CBC for having their troll game on 100 yesterday.

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Nobody Loves To Pull Off The Mike Legg Goal More Than Random Euro Leagues

Every few weeks or so, there’s another random team in a random European league scoring off a “Michigan”. This time it’s Joey Sides of the Dundee Stars. I said like a month ago that I think I’m out on the Michigan. But I still have a mass amount of respect for the guys who pull it off. Because they don’t give a fuck about playing a system. They don’t give a fuck about what their CORSI rating is. They’re out on the ice to sauce around and hopefully come up with a highlight reel so nice it’ll get them laid at the bar. So the goal itself? I could take it or leave it at this point. But the mentality that goes behind making that decision? Well that’s the definition of a beauty.

Hit Of The Weekend

Jeeeeeesus christ. How there wasn’t 4 guys on the ice wearing blue ready to murder that defenseman is  beyond me. Does the Swiss NLA need enforcers? Yeah, I’d go ahead and say they do.

@BarstoolJordie