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This Chick's Reply To A Guy Who Just Got Her As A First Match On Tinder Might Be The Funniest Message From A Girl Ever

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I’m sure Shannon here is joking and the conversation may have even died out immediately after this screengrab occurred but honestly I love the reply. Whenever you try to explain Tinder or Bumble or any of the apps to a coupled up friend who’s never experienced it first hand, they think it’s a game or some sort of magical sex device where you cue chicks up like ordering a pizza from Dominos. This guy getting a reply like this from the girl probably made his whole life, in his mind confirming all the whispers he’s heard about Tinder over the years with a bare minimum of effort at that. I hope they smashed but even if not, what an exhilarating moment for him that must have been. That’s what this is all about: Bringing people together with the promise of low-effort sex with someone you barely know. (h/t Reddit)

And hey we’re back at it with another week of the Barstool Tinder roundup. Gotta be honest, it’s been a tough week in Spagsville with some personal stuff and coming home on Wednesday and finding my dogs fought over a sandwich wrapper, leading to my yellow lab’s ear being split in half:

But this is what the Tinder blog is…a place to escape from it all, on my end and yours, in a sea of weirdos and chicks with surprisingly great racks. So thanks to the folks who sent things in, please follow me on Twitter and DM yours in, and let’s get to the screenshots:

YY

(via YY)

TW-alrightclevelandmaybeyouregettingalittletoomuchselfworthhereafterdecadesoffailure

Alright Cleveland maybe you’re getting a little too much self-worth here after decades of failure and overall mediocrity as a location (via TW)

T-thehuntingjacketisnotasignofafunnyperson

The weight may be but the hunting jacket is not a sign of a funny person imo (via T

SC1

SC2-maybeanunfairassessmentonherworldviewsbutsheseemslikethekindofchickwhodspitinyourmouthandthinkitssexy

Maybe an unfair assessment on her world views but she seems like the kind of chick who’d find it hot to spit in your mouth (via SC)

s405-suchaclassichockeygirl

Such a classic hockey girl..well besides even pretending she still has her virginity (via S405)

RM1

RM2-thismaybeweirdbutshehassuchasanehealthyviewofnonmongamoussexthatiassumeshemusthavesometremendouscrazyrightaroundthecorner

Perhaps unfair but she has such a healthy view of nonmongamous sex that I assume there must be an onslaught of craziness somewhere around the corner

RG-yourcompetitionfortheweekhasasweatshirtthatishashtagsobrave

Your competition for the week is taking some #sobrave choices with his sweatshirt choices (via RG)

SNS-titsandariddlethatsheprobablycantsolveherselfthecommunitycollegegirlexperience

Tits and a riddle that she probably can’t solve: The community college girl experience (via SNS)

R-butdoesshehavehands

But the real question here is does she actually have hands? Because it would be weird to think it’s a joke and all of a sudden you’re getting a handjob from Buster Bluth (via R)

KS-preciselywhyyouwantagirlwhosintoweedbutnotTOOintoweed

Precisely why you want a girl who’s into weed but not TOO into weed, if she owns anything with a pot leaf on it run (via KS)

JR-hopeyouliketippytoesinyourweddingphotostoots

Hope you like tippy toes in your bridal party photos (via JR)

JP-INSERTGEORGIAONMYMIND

(via JP)

JG-illbehonestthefactthatihaventcheckedbustynurseoffmypersonalhitlisthauntsmedaily

I’ll be honest, the fact that I haven’t checked “busty nurse” off my personal hit list haunts me daily (via JG)

JB-USELESSwithoutbeforeandafterpics

USELESS without before and after pics (via JB)

J1

J2-ihearwhatshessayingbuta411chickwhoteacheskidsandlovesUFCdefinitelyfucksnoquestioninmymind

I hear what she’s saying but a 4’11 chick who’s a teacher and loves UFC definitely fucks, no question in my mind (via J)

GM-normallyyoudontwantachickwhowantstobeaBridebutthisistheexception

Normally you don’t want a chick with a photo of her as a Bride in her pics but this seems like a quality loophole (via GM)

GL-fiiineiguessyoucanwearwhitepantsafterlaborday

No white pants after Labor Day, gonna need to take those off champ (via GL)

DLC-verymediocredogdickevenifgradingonanasiangirlcurve

Very mediocre dog dick here even if we’re grading on an Asian curve (via DLC)

D-whenchemistryandtrashinessbecomeabeautifulworkofartprettymuchhereandBreakingBad

When chemistry and trashiness become beautiful a beautiful work of art, it’s pretty much this tattoo, Breaking Bad, and that one time I drew an erotic painting of Bill Nye (via D)

CP-imtoldthisisPanamaCityBeachduringtheoffseasonandyeahthatseemsaboutright

I’m told this is Panama City Beach during the off season and from what I can tell going there for Spring Break traveling between Sharky’s and the other various bars, it seems 100% in line with the local “talent” (via CP)

AC-Mainetinderwantedtodotheirbesttofollowuplastweeksawfulshowing

Maine tinder wanted to do their best to follow up last week’s awful awful showing (via AC)

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A2-morecompetitionfortheweekandapparentlythisisaprettygoodrepresentationofTampadudessoifyouwantaplacetomovewhereyourshitwilllookstentimesbetterbycomparisonnowyouknow

More competition for the week and apparently this is a good representation of Tampa dudes if you want a place to move where your shit will look 10x better by comparison (via A)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

CS-everysetofseethroughnipsoneverydatingappwillbeinthisblogthespagspromise

Every set of see through nips on every dating app will be in this blog before all’s said and done #TheSpagsPromise (via CS)

ZB-HOTNSFWthespagspromisecoversbothlandandsea

#TheSpagsPromise covers both land and sea, neither pools nor international waters will not save your nipples from public judgment (via ZB)

TR-HOTNSFWanunexpectedjoyofTitleIXwouldbewatchingthosebouncearoundonafield

An unexpected joy of Title IX would be watching those bounce around on the field hockey, uh, field (via TR)

SG-HOTNSFWcallitahunchbutibetvianniesgotthebestnudesinthegameatsuchaprecociousagetoo

Call it a hunch but I bet Viannie’s got the best nudes in town, at such a precocious age (via SG)

DAD-HOTNSFWcanconfirmthatshedoesseemcheeky

Can confirm that she does in fact seem rather cheeky (via DAD)

CTV-HOTNSFWasamanover30ashardasitmaybeimgoingtopassupyournymphobruisedpeachtitsforthetimebeing

Speaking as a man over 30 and as hard as it is to pass on teenage tits I’m going to have to say no to your nympho bruised like a peach tits for the time being (via CTV)

cri-HOTNSFWidontknowwhybutidreallyliketoseethisgirlsasshole

I don’t know why since this isn’t usually my jam but I’d really like to see this girl’s asshole (via Cri)

CL-HOTNSFWLINKTOROGERWILLIAMSBLOG

And they’re trying to ban Roger Williams U girls from wearing sexy things to the gym, fight the power you hot little crusader you (via CL)

BF-HOTNSFWnowthisisthekindofladyempowermentwecanallgetbehindbothliterallyandfiguratively

Now this is the kind of lady empowerment guys can get behind both literally and figuratively (via BF)

MP-HOTNSFWsideboobandahintofnipfromaUCLAchickisanotherslapinthefaceofUSCthisyear

Side boob and a hint of nip from a hot UCLA chick is another slap in the face of many to come for my precious USC during this college football season (via MP)

JDH-HOTNSFWthisweeksreminderyouhaventrememberedinawhileyoudprobablybangatranswoman

This week’s reminder you haven’t been reminded in a while that you’d probably bang a trans (via JDH)

howlr-HOTNSFWgirlsyouhavetorealizethatthisisntajokeanymorewiththeadvancementsinsurgery

Girls you have to realize this isn’t a funny joke any more with the advancements in surgery, see above (via Howlr)

HK-HOTNSFWlotofthespagspromisecomingthisweek

More #TheSpagsPromise, I’m so proud that this really resonated in the submissions from you eagle eyed smut lovers out there (via HK)

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JS-feelslikethespagspromiseshouldbealittlelessdeliberatebutimnotgonnalookthegiftnipsinthemouth

Feels like #TheSpagsPromise should be a little less deliberate but I’m not going to look the gift nips in the mouth (via JS)

EG1-HOTNSFW

EG2-HOTNSFWnotaclassicASUbuttbutimnothatingit

Not a classic ASU butt or attitude towards hookups but I’m not hating it (via EG)

MW-HOTNSFWbigtittedproblemswhenyourenotreallywearingsomethingNSFWbutstillgetstuckinthehotnsfwsection

Big titted problems: When you’re not really wearing something NSFW but still get stuck in the NSFW section (via MW)

And there we have it, another week in the books of the Tinder roundup. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and DM in your submissions, thanks to the folks who sent things in, and happy swiping!