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Wow. Can't Believe The World Cup Of Hockey Is Already Over

Wow. Seems like it was just a week ago we were all getting excited for the World Cup of Hockey to get underway, and now it’s already over. Wow. No more games left at all. Everybody packed up and went on their way. Tournament over. Nothing left to see here, folks. Thanks for coming out. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. Wow. Just… wow.

For those of you who don’t know, Team North America needed Finland to beat Russia yesterday in order to advance to the semifinals. Unfortunately, they already murdered Finland to open the tournament so having to rely on a dead team isn’t always the most efficient route to take. Especially when that dead team has to go up against a combo like Ovechkin and Tarasenko.

Russia won 3-0 and now Finland is extra dead.

And going down with Finrand is Team North America. Probably the most exciting team to watch in this tournament. Done. Finished. Kaput. I honestly believe that Team North America had the talent to win the whole goddamn thing. But teams needed at least 6 years of work experience to even apply for the championship so the world’s war against Millennials continues. It’s just sad.

Moving on… remember when USA Hockey got all sorts of butt-hurt over Phil Kessel and Bobby Ryan’s tweets? You’d think that a team that was built on toughness and grit would at least have the testicular fortitude (scientific term for “giant balls”) to go out there and close out the tournament with a win against the Czechs, right? I mean, yeah, Team Europe shocked them in the opener. Then they got thoroughly embarrassed by Team Canada. But this team has GRIT. They have HEART. They’re old time hockey. Eddie Shore. Buuuuuut turns out the team that was built specifically to beat Canada ended up not beating anybody at all. The Americans fell to the Czech Republic 4-3 and went winless through the tournament. Quite possibly the lowest moment for US Hockey in the past 50 years.

Only saving grace for Team USA last night? They out hit Czech Republic 27-9. It takes a special level of grit to be able to out Czech the Czechs. (that’s a great joke and  won’t let anybody tell me otherwise).

So yeah. No more Team North America. No more Team USA. I know that there are some unmitigated rumors swirling around that Canada, Russia, Sweden and Team Europe have all advanced to the semifinals. But for all I’m concerned, this tournament is over. It was fun while it lasted. A great idea in theory, but let’s not do this again for another 12 years.

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@BarstoolJordie