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Madison Bumgarner Picked A Fight With Yasiel Puig For Like The 50th Time Last Night

San Francisco Giants v Los Angeles Dodgers

I was watching the Blue Jays/Mariners game, and somebody tweeted me saying there was a fight in the Dodgers/Giants game, so I jokingly said, “What, Puig and MadBum again?” I turn on the game, and it’s fucking Puig and MadBum again! I swear to God, these two guys are like Peter Griffin and the chicken. They’re just going to fight each other forever for no reason at all. I mean, seriously. They wanted to kill each other, because Bumgarner said, “Don’t look at me,” and Puig said, “What are you gonna do to me?” as if that’s enough to spark a brawl? It’s not. But with these two, there really doesn’t even need to be a reason. Let’s take a look at their history:

These guys have been trying to kill each other for three years, all because Puig got something in his eye in 2014. Who would’ve thought that a gust of wind that picked up some infield dirt could’ve sparked one of the most ridiculous baseball feuds of all-time? Love Bumgarner, love watching him pitch, he’s my pick for Cy Young runner-up this year, by my God is this dude a HUGE, huge hardo. I wrote about that back in May, about how this guy will fight a fight with just about anybody over literally nothing, just to show everybody how tough he is while he has 15 teammates holding him back.

Maybe this was all one big misunderstanding. Maybe Bumgarner was simply just singing the opening to Christina Aguilera’s song Beautiful when he said “Don’t look at me.” I don’t know. What I do know, though, is that Bumgarner has established himself as the King of the Hardos in Major League Baseball. What I also noticed is that of all the fights that Bumgarner has picked with opposing players, none of them have actually made it out to the mound. In every case, Bumgarner will provoke the situation, stand there with his chest puffed out, and wait for his teammates to build a wall between himself and said player. Every time.

Randy

Sooner or later, somebody is going to Ronald Reagan that wall and get to him, and, not that I’d bet against Bumgarner in a fight, but I find it very interesting that he’s basically drunk Randy Marsh who will take his shirt off and ask for a fight, only it seems like he doesn’t actually want a fight. Just the appearance of wanting it to happen if it weren’t for all of these conveniently placed teammates in from of him.