Jonah Hill Got So Butthurt On A French Show Because A Comedian Made A Joke About Not Wanting To Have Sex With Him
(turn on your YouTube closed captioning to see the subtitles)
US Weekly – The Wolf of Wall Street actor was appearing on Le Grand Journal on Friday, September 10, when the gorgeous wannabe comedian [Ornella Fleury] began roasting him by alluding to his lack of sex appeal, which didn’t go down well with Hill.
“It’s when I saw you get sodomized by a three-meter-tall demon in This Is the End that I told myself, now that’s the man of my dreams!” she said.
“My sexual fantasy would be that we’d meet up in a hotel room at night. We would chat, you’d make me laugh; you’d make me laugh a lot,” she said. “And then all of a sudden, you’d bring your friends [Leonardo] DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, and then you’d go away.”
Hill gave a weak thumbs-up but then tried to firmly put Fleury in her place.
“I’m glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local weather girl — it’s nice.”
If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two:
I enjoy Jonah Hill’s work, he does funny movies and can also do a little bit of drama, he’s better as a fat guy than that stretch where he got skinny and just looked weird, he gave Handsome Hank a hug, all good stuff. But he’s a dude who hangs out with DiCaprio, is sitting next to Miles Teller, he’s in movies with Brad Pitt and McConaughey…at a certain point you have to realize no matter how famous you are, no matter how nice your clothes are and how trendy your beard is, you’re not those dudes. Girls will still smash because you’re funny and rich and famous but it’s not like they’re staring at that wobbly mound of flesh and having the same life-altering experience that it’d be if any of these other dudes you pal around with were in the same spot. So yes of course the French comedian chick is going to shit on you, or people will make those remarks, or whatever but who fucking cares? No shit you’re not as sexy as Brad Pitt or even Miles Teller’s sad boy in a children’s book face, you can’t get so butthurt by things that are empirically just facts after being in the limelight for like a decade now.
Also Jonah Hill should be really appreciative that people are so aware that all this Sexiest Man Alive caliber dudes are basically his closest friends. What’s the alternative, hanging out with the original Michael Cera, Seth Rogen, and fucking McLovin crew? Like yeah maybe you’re getting chicks who value humor over looks and have “sapiosexual” listed on their Tinder bio but I’d much rather take DiCaprio’s leavins than Seth Rogen’s best. Any other choice is simply a man having too much ego.