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The Story About The Red Sox Fan Taking A Stingray Out Of The Tank And Throwing It Last Night Is False, Thank God




So this happened last night, this guy Thomas Beisner tweeted out that a Red Sox fan took a live Ray out of a tank and threw it. Basically the most reprehensible thing a person could ever do. And my initial reaction was this.



Well it turns out the whole thing was false. Fucking Thomas Beisner getting the whole world in a tizzy over his dumb friend pranking him. Be a little more gullible idiot.





Technically speaking though, that’s a successful manhunt. I don’t care if it was all a hoax, the facts are this, at one point there was a stingray killer on the loose and we caught him/found out he never existed. That’ 2-0 in my book if we’re keeping stats, which I obviously am. Just another patch on the old man hunting jacket, nbd.





If you bring a baseball glove to a game and then miss the game winning home run that is hit directly at you, it’s probably time to kill yourself.



Also, if you make a sign and your team loses in a walk off directly in your face you don’t have to still show your sign, it’s ok to give a second.