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Italy's Supreme Court Rules Public Masturbation Not A Crime

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(CNN) Italy’s highest court has ruled that masturbation in public is not a crime, as long as it is not conducted in the presence of minors.

The decision came down from the Italian Supreme Court — La Corte di Cassazione — in the case of a 69-year-old man, identified only as “PL,” who was caught masturbating in Catania, a city on Sicily’s east coast.

Italy got this one right. You should be able to do whatever you want with your own dick as long as it doesn’t touch another person or infringe on their sensibilities. This long time stoolie was having some private time in a public restroom and some voyeuristic asshole ruins the moment and the stoolie ends up getting charged with a crime? Outrageous.

Masturbation is natural and if you wanna go to town while you are in the stall, go for it. The rule of thumb should be simple, if it is ok for you to poop there, you should be able to jerk off there. We make things so much harder than they really need to be when it comes to masturbation rules.

I hope I have the sexual vigor at 69 years old to tug one out in the public restroom. I think this gentleman should be admired, not scorned. Praised, not criticized. Elevated, not torn down. Treating this gentleman as a common criminal is barbaric! Barbaric! Barbaric! Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain, valley to valley across this broad land! Barbaric, barbaric. Getting charged with a crime for masturbating privately in public is barbaric!