Eat More Peaches.
Recently I’ve become a huge peach guy. Normal people eat delicious foods despite the fact that they’re bad for you, I’m the a little different. I eat delicious foods despite them being healthy. It doesn’t even bother me that a peach is good for you, I still think they’re delightful. Peaches are awesome. Peaches fucking fuck.
Perhaps it’s because the people in my circles consider the lettuce on their fired chicken sandwich to be their day’s worth of vegetables and consider Gatorade and it’s 100 grams of sugar to be a healthy beverage, but I feel like no one talks about peaches. They get no love whatsoever. Apples, sure. Pears, even the sticker? Absolutely. Strawberries, blueberries, even bananas all get their time in the spotlight. But peaches? No one but The Presidents of the United States, 112, and Kramer give them their proper due, and I’m sick of it. Nothing beats a good peach. I got a garbage peach at the bodega when I went to get lunch, so bad I considered pulling a Kramer and returning it, but you know what? Still better than any apple I’ve ever had in my entire life. Apples are bullshit. They’re a garbage fruit but people still say, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Fuck that. A peach a week means you don’t have to go to the doctor literally ever. I’m proof positive of that. Don’t believe me? Well I haven’t been in a waiting room in seven years and look at me, still alive and well. Still alive. If you’re not eating peaches regularly then I feel bad for you and want nothing to do with any kind of friendship. I don’t befriend fools. I know a healthy diet can be scary so start slow. Start with Peach Rings and work your way up to the actual fruit, you won’t be disappointed.