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Cory Schneider's World Cup Pads Are Further Proof That America Is The Greatest Nation In The Goddamn World

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“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe. But the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism” – Kenny Powers” – Cory Schneider, probably. 

Before we get started here, I just have to acknowledge the possibility that Cory Schneider is joingin in on Colin Kaepernick’s protest here. I mean, he’s literally kneeling ON the American Flag. Kind of messed up if you ask me and if I’m the NHL Department of Player Safety, I look into suspending Schneider for at least a month or so once the season rolls around. Or at least just the 5 games the Devils play the Flyers. Whichever works best.

Disgracing the greatest nation in the world aside, these pads are beauties through and through. Not the first time we saw them, but it is the first time we get to see them in action. It’s moments like this when you actually have to feel bad for the other nations around the globe. They’ll never get to experience just how amazing it is to be American. 10/10 experience, would recommend to a friend. When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you play good. And guess what, bitches? America looks the best. Maybe not so much on paper heading into the World Cup this month (definitely don’t expect them to medal). But it’s pads like Schneider’s that could A) give him the edge over Bishop and Quick to land that starting job and B) propel the Americans to at least not get embarrassed out there by Canada and the North American team.

Closer look:

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God Bless America. God Bless Hockey.

@BarstoolJordie