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Vladimir Putin Has Finally Been Arrested

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Vladimir Putin is facing trespassing charges. Not Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. But Vladimir Putin of West Palm Beach. Police responded to a Publix supermarket in downtown West Palm Beach following a report of a man screaming at employees. Managers tried to get Putin to leave but he refused. He told West Palm Beach Police officers he missed his ride. Putin appeared in court Monday morning. He’s also facing a charge of resisting/obstructing officer without violence.

Big, big get for the West Palm Beach police. Some may say that locking down Vladimir Putin on a trespassing charge is akin to getting Al Capone on tax evasion, and that’s fair, but at least we got the guy, right? Sure, I would’ve preferred he gets locked up for jailing and killing journalists, corruption, probably bombing his own country, jailing and killing gay people and activists, selling weapons to Al-Assad, all that Ukraine and Crimea messy business (that’s about as much as I know about it, that it’s messy business), etc, etc.

Still, a win’s a win. When you’ve got a chance to get a thug off the streets then you’ve gotta do it. Doesn’t matter if it’s for putting a bullet in an opponent’s head or for yelling at some people just trying to order a Pub Sub, the world is a safer place with Vladimir behind bars. Thought he could put on some black face and get away with being a scumbag over here in the States? Don’t think so, Vlad. I don’t think so at all.

PS – Seriously, how is this guy’s name Vladimir Putin? He obviously changed it, right? Wild move. In my experience black people usually have cool street names, not Russian ones.