The Sun- A DOCTOR ripped her husband’s testicles with her fingernails during a boozy row, a court heard. Vianey Manzanillo De La Cruz grabbed hold of Alexandre Daband’s manhood as he tried to chuck her out of their flat. The 32-year-old also attacked her husband with an umbrella and threatened him with a knife after he was sick following a tequila binge, the Old Bailey heard. Mr Daband, who works for Societe Generale, spent the night in hospital after his scrotal sac was ripped open and needed stitches. De La Cruz was arrested but told cops she was acting in self defence when she clawed at her now estranged husband’s privates. Prosecutor George Heimler told jurors: “The injury in this case is caused by her grabbing hold of the testicles and with her nails and actually ripping the skin part. She was visiting for the weekend on April 4 and the pair had been drinking tequila shots before heading out to a West End club. But they were too late to use their VIP passes and boozed-up Mr Daband was sick after they were turned away. Jurors heard the banker was sick again when they returned to their flat in Bermondsey, south London, and got in the shower to wash the vomit away.
I stopped drinking tequila a long time ago and I’m happy to report that it’s the right decision. It’s the right decision for a trillion reasons. Tequila gets me beyond black out drunk. Worse than rumple minze. I don’t even consider tequila a type of alcohol. I consider it a mythical drug that whisks me away to the far away land of Blackoutsville. Whenever I would drink it, it would instantly grab me and I’d be a completely different human being. Also, tequila hangovers are hands-down the worst in the game and I won’t believe anyone who says different. Another solid reason to stop drinking tequila? Possibly the #1 reason? It might lead to your wife ripping your scrotum off. That’s how fucking crazy tequila is. Apparently tequila can lead you to a situation where you’re covered in your own puke AND your scrotum is ripped open. No one wants to be in that situation. We non-tequila drinkers stay winning. No tequila hangover and our ball sacks firmly in tact.
Flip side, learn to hold your liquor dude and maybe this shit won’t happen.