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Nice To See The Eagles Are Looking Out For The Little People By Allowing Them To Drink Water At The Linc

16 oz??? By golly gee, thanks Jeffrey Lurie! Let the peasants rejoice! The heat index at kickoff is only going to be 100+ degrees tonight. Fans can enjoy bringing in just enough water to survive in a small bottle, and then can pay $6 a pop for more bottled agua to quench their thirst. That’s not counting the $40 for parking or the money spent on tix you’re required to buy as season ticket holders. Come to think of it, dying of thirst may be less painful than watching Doug Pederson attempt to emulate all of Andy Reid’s worst qualities. Can’t wait to see him find a way to waste 3 timeouts before the coin flip. Wait, that can’t happen. No, not because it’s impossible, but cause Doug probably doesn’t know how many TO’s you get for the half, anyways. Silver linings.

For those of you going to the game and want to stick it to the man, here’s how you sneak vodka (or gin if you’re a madman) into a sealed water bottle. Fuck this administration.