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The Americans Continue To Own The Pool In Banks' Olympic Blog - Tuesday August 9th

medal count 8-9


The medals just keep rolling in for the Americans, with 2 gold medals picked up on Monday. Lilly King picked up a gold in the 100m breaststroke (more on that shortly) and Ryan Murphy won gold in the 100m backstroke. If it wasn’t for that Hungarian broad with the pyscho coach/husband, it would be complete and total dominance in the pool for the US. Oh well. We remained deadlocked with the Chinese on golds, so gotta keep at it.


As previously mentioned, Lilly King was the main attraction last night after going in on Russia’s Yulia Efinova’s doping history the night before. I guess you could say she was locked in last night…

king 2


because she proceeded to whoop that ass up and down the pool. No no no, not today


king finger wag



The shade continued…



Eat shit Russia

king 3



The other big story coming out of last night was this South African clown trying to phase the unquestioned GOAT before a SEMIFINAL in the 200m butterfly

He’s got a name that matches the antics too. What a Chad…



They’ll have their showdown tonight, and Phelps will put him in his place.


In other news, hoops got off to a slow start, but eventually pulled away to another blowout victory over Venezuela. Meanwhile Paul George still thinks he’s in the NBA. Old habits die hard


On to the GIFs…


Looks like Usain Bolt had himself quite a night



Don’t forget to stop by and grab a condom on your way out Usain!




All-time preposterous name from a preposterous city.



China’s Sun Yang tried… and failed to throw his cap into the crowd after winning gold in the 200m freestyle

This fencer’s phone fell out of his pocket on the biggest stage of his athletic career. Can you imagine if Cam Newton’s phone fell out while he was making that business decision back in February?


Congrats on the flex bro, but act like you’ve been there

chinese lifter



Today I’m FOR SURE watching the Americans in Rugby 7’s.

rugby 7's

rugby schedule

Now you might say wow, 2 matches in one day? That’s crazy! Eh, yeah kinda. Here’s the thing about rugby 7’s. It’s not just 7 on 7 rugby, it’s also played in 7 minute halves. Yup, you got that right, it’s just a 14 minute match, so you gotta be there at noon SHARP. If you have the opportunity to watch all the matches this afternoon between those two Americans matches, absolutely do it. Rugby 7’s is exhilirating. Football is great, but rugby 7’s is football on acid. No, speed. No…. steroids. Trust me on this one. You may not understand everything that’s going on (like “try’s” are basically touchdowns worth 5 points, and “conversions” are basically 2-pt extra point kicks), but you will enjoy it. Trust me.

And obv I’m watching Phelpsy tonight.


Today’s Olympic smoke is Ellen Hoog, Dutch field hockey player

hoog 4

hoog 5

hoog 1


hoog 2

hoog 3

hoog 6



Note: The Olympics/NBC have made it more and more difficult to put these things together. GIF’s, Vines, images etc. are much harder to find this time around. If you see something funny/blogworthy, hit me with it @BarstoolBanks and follow our backup twitter account @BarstoolTweets. Oh, and keep those smoke nominations coming…