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The NCAA Releases Their First Official Social Media Rules For Coaches

College coaches when they find out they have to take their stopwatch out and wait 60 full seconds to tweet “Great drive, can really move his feet” about a recruit:

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I can just imagine all the old-timers’ heads exploding from reading these rules, or even just the fact that the NCAA had to put them in in the first place. God damn Millennials and their god damn Twitters and their god damn Facebookings, back in my day if a coach wanted to impress a player, he showed up at the back door with keys to a new house in the suburbs, or had a messenger anonymously deliver you a nice cash filled duffle bag, or knocked on the barn at your dad’s farmhouse with a brand new tractor trailer.* Now it’s all this retweeting and favoriting and subtweeting and tagging and sharing and memeing. You want to talk about Arthur’s Fist up there, that applies to every single old school college fan waking up this morning skimming through social media guidelines.

But for those of us firmly planted in 2016 it’s pretty simple. This is the recruiting world we live in now. People getting in trouble from their Twitter accounts daily, if not hourly. Trying to skate by longtime violations through new sources of technology. 17 year old 5-stars basing their futures on what coach clicks the exploding heart on their tweet about the dump they took with 6 different varieties of emoji. The NCAA may be a total joke and I’m positive they fucked these rules up in some way but it’s no surprise they’re trying to get on top of this (about 6 years late) and define it a little better for the coaches before they end up on some sort of double secret probation for something they didn’t even know their phone was capable of doing.

Still the best advice for any recruit, athlete, or person in the public eye in general:

*Every single behind the scenes recruiting scenario I ever imagine I get from the movie Blue Chips. Always have, always will.