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Melania and Donald Trump Were So Close To Crushing Night One of the RNC Convention

Riggs
Riggs7/19/2016 1:30 PM

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It’s #RNCinCLE week. The Republican party descending upon Cleveland to galvanize support, rally around their nominee and launch the homestretch of the 2016 election year. Party conventions are what they are — if you’re hardcore Republican, you’re gonna LOVE this. If you’re hardcore Democratic, you’re gonna HATE this. If you’re me, you’re happy cuz content jumps right off the television screen and hits you in the face. It’s everywhere. Can’t miss it.

Last night’s headliner was Melania Trump, the Slovenian-American third wife of the Donald. Of course, who better to introduce mesmerizing Melania than the Donald himself? And sure enough, he introduced the shit out of her… only after introducing the shit out of himself.

Despite rumors that Trump would slip in his own mini-speech, he quickly said “we’re gonna win big” a couple times then introduced Melania. She appeared and her dress immediately put a beatdown on all of Cleveland.

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And her speech seemed fine. Nothing crazy, but nothing terrible. Pretty good for a Slovenian-American in her fifth language in front of millions of people talking about her uber rich husband who one day woke up and decided to run for president. All reports claimed she’d been nervous as hell for weeks. Her previous longest speech on the campaign trail? 90 seconds. She spoke Monday for about 20 minutes. It sounded like this.

Speech even got Bob Dole so fired up he started electrifying the crowd right smack dab in the middle of it.

Then I blogged all of the above, queued it up for the morning, and went to sleep… Annnnnnnd then my bat phone went off. Melania’s speech was straight ripped from Michelle Obama’s 2008 Convention speech and the parts of the internet that were still awake JUMPED on it:

Everyone’s laughing at poor Melania.

In conclusion, you know… just as expected …pretty wild first night at the Trump RNC National Convention. We got a ridiculously hilarious “We Are The Champions” entrance. We got Melania delivering a completely plagiarized speech from the sitting first lady (while murdering her dress tho). And we got America’s mayor Rudy Giuliani yelling about god knows what. Good start, still got 3 more nights and Portnoy heading to Cleveland tomorrow. What a week for the dog days of summer.


Riggs
Riggs7/19/2016 1:30 PM