Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

Internet Detectives Have Discovered That Taylor Swift's Response Was Most Likely Written A Long Time Ago

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 10.10.41 AM





(NYMag) Note, for example, how in Swift’s screenshot, the “search” link appears in the upper-left corner. In Notes, that link only appears if you’ve clicked through from a list of search results. (If she’d clicked from the default list of notes, the link would say “Notes.”) So why was Taylor Swift searching for a statement she’d supposedly written just last night? Is it possible that Swift was posting one she’d composed earlier in the year, at one of the many other moments when her feud with Kardashian reignited? Now, obviously, all that button really indicates is that she has so many notes on her phone that she had to search in order to find it again. The “search” link isn’t the only interesting thing about Taylor’s note. If you blow up the full-resolution version of the image posted to Instagram, you can see some faint text in the corner just above the Search button. If you scroll downward in a note, the text will move upward, behind the near-but-not-entirely opaque banner menu at the top of the app. As text moves behind the banner, it can still just barely be seen. In other words, that text appears on the same note, and has been nearly hidden because Taylor has scrolled down. It reads “because it doesn’t exist.” What does it mean?? An educated guess: “because it [the footage] doesn’t exist” is one of the many drafted lines of counterattack that Swift was discussing with her squad of celebrity friends and PR handlers, before settling on the statement she posted to Instagram. At the very least, Swift played herself by revealing that even in the midst of a celebrity feud, her supposedly off-the-cuff social-media response was constructed artifice.

The only surprising part of this is the fact that people thought any part of this entire situation was genuine. Celebrities don’t live real lives, they lead WWE lives. Everything is scripted and rehearsed and looked over by a litany of PR people and lawyers. It’s all as real as the tooth fairy.
I mean we’re supposed to be surprised that Taylor Swift didn’t actually issue an off the cuff response? Really? I’m supposed to say OMG because Taylor Swift had a statement saved in her phone rather than one she typed out in the heat of the moment then Tweeted before she so much as gave it a once over? Get the fuck out of here. Taylor Swift hasn’t made a move that wasn’t calculated in over a decade, no fucking kidding she was in on this. I don’t need to see a “Search” tab or some early draft texts in order to know that, I know it because she’s Taylor Swift and I have a brain. I’m sure she was sitting by her phone just waiting for last night’s Keeping Up With The Kardashians to air so she could tweet this and get back to pretending to be in love with a famous person for publicity’s sake.
PS – “I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative” is  my favorite thing ever said. I’m using that forever.