WTSP- David Van Buren is refusing to back down after Fish And Wildlife officials informed him the alligator he’s had as a pet for nearly five decades has grown too big for his yard. Gwendolyn, his 13-foot alligator, loves to come out for his fix of pizza and cookies. Van Buren has had Gwendolyn for the past 47 years, since he was a nine-year-old boy. He even took the gator to college. The reptile’s length is what brought Florida Fish and Wildlife officials to their home. Van Buren said his pet is healthy and is unable to escape. He said he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his beloved alligator. Fish And Wildlife officials said the best outcome for Gwendolyn is to actually stay with David, because the alligator is so used to living with him. First, however, he’ll have to make changes to his property.
It’s only a matter of time before that alligator eats David Van Buren’s face off. Now I know what you’re probably saying, “But Trent, he’s had the alligator for 47 YEARS. They’re best friends now. He lets it sleep on his couch and feeds him delicious Chips Ahoy cookies. If the alligator was gonna rip off David’s face he would’ve done it long ago.” You’re wrong. What happens the one day David doesn’t come home with cookies and pizza? What then? I’ll tell you what then. That alligator will black out from hunger and wake up to a murder scene like in The Night Of. Wild animals can’t control their own actions because their wild animals. That alligator might love David more than life itself but the minute the well of cookies and pizza dries up, all that shit goes out the window. One of these days David is gonna forget to toss those delicious cookies in his shopping cart and later that night Gwendolyn is gonna chew his leg like a chicken bone. Ask Roy Horn.