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I Need This Mini Classic Nintendo System More Than I Need Air To Breathe

Engadget- That dusty old NES in your attic might be rife with nostalgic memories, but it’s a pain to drag out of its box whenever you get the hankering for a rousing game of Super Mario Bros. 3. Nintendo totally gets it, as well as the fact that you might want something a little more convenient to enjoy your classic games. Enter the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition, a mini replica of the original console.

The diminutive version of one of the most influential home video game consoles of all time will launch with over 30 NES titles preloaded, including Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy and Metroid. The mix also includes some surprising choices such as StarTropics, but it’s a well-rounded sampling of the best the system has to offer.

The full list includes Balloon Fight, Bubble Bobble, Castlevania, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Double Dragon II: The Revenge, Dr. Mario, Excitebike, Final Fantasy, Galaga, Ghosts’ N Ghoblins, Gradius, Ice Climber, Kid Icarus, Kirby’s Adventure, Mario Bros., Mega Man 2, Metroid, Ninja Gaiden, Pac-Man, Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream, StarTropics, SUPER C, Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, Tecmo Bowl, The Legend of Zelda and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. For $59.99, you’ll get the preloaded games, an HDMI cable, an AC adapter and one NES Classic Controller, which obviously looks exactly like the ones you’re used to.

Just take all my money right now, Nintendo. You can have it. I think it’s pretty clear that my two Achilles heels in life are nostalgia and junk food, so this clearly feeds into one of those. Actually I guess a lot of my early junk food days were spent while holding a Nintendo controller. But that’s neither here nor there. This is an absolute game changer. Yes I can still play an old Nintendo system or use an emulator whenever I want. But it’s about a Hall of Famer getting even better. I was never a Pokemon guy but I’m sure Pokemon fans cream their pants every time they fire up Pokemon Go. And I’m sure that’s how old school Nintendo fans will feel when this bad boy arrives in the mail.

For one, it’s mini. There is something awesome about feeling like a giant. I don’t know what it is, but it’s true. We all want to be The Boban without actually being The Boban. The NES is also HDMI ready so you don’t have to use those stupid red, yellow, and white wires or some shitty ass RF Out on your TV. I’m not sure if it was just me, but I always had to press down the wire in the back after a year or so or else the picture would go out. And that would drive me fucking bonkers.

A few other thoughts:

– There needs to be an optional feature that you have to blow in the system or else your game won’t play. And sometimes it just won’t work for a day or a week. All part of the charm of the original NES. That shit built character.

– Going with the politically correct “Mr. Dream” Punch Out instead of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out almost ruins the package altogether. I understand putting Mike Tyson on your game when he was out of his fucking mind and in jail wasn’t the best look. But those days are over. Iron Mike seems to be a gentle, probably heavily medicated kitten right now. To battle through that cast of misfits only to face some vanilla ass boss is a fucking joke.

– Tecmo Bowl better still have the rosters from the original. I need to run wild with LT and continue my streak of blocking every extra point under the sun.

– That being said, no baseball game being on the system is a massive oversight. Everyone has their favs. Mine was RBI Baseball. Eeeeeeasily the most fun NES baseball game. And that song. The best song my ears have ever heard. In fact, I think the RBI Baseball song would be my batting music if I was a Big Leaguer. That’s the type of love I have for the RBI Baseball song.

My music would start at the 18 second mark

– As for the record I was an Ice Hockey guy over Blades Of Steel. Something about playing as a country and being able to choose skinny, regular, and fat appealed to me (FWIW 1 skinny, 2 regular, 1 fat is the winning combo). Oddly enough, I don’t think I ever played a basketball game on the old school Nintendo outside of Double Dribble which was meh in my eyes. Tecmo Super NBA Basketball for Super Nintendo changed my world, though. Stats and season mode were no joke.

– Absolutely shocked there is no Contra or Tetris on there. Just seems wrong to be honest. And to a lesser extent Kirby’s Dreamland.

– I am soooo happy the original Ninja Turtles game isn’t on the list, because I know even as an old man I still probably can’t beat the Hudson River level.

– I know I will catch flak about this from some people, but I don’t care. Mario 2 was, is, and forever will be the black sheep of the NES Mario Bros. trilogy. Fuck that game with a fiery hot poker. Shit was a lame ass Japanese game remade as a Mario game because Mario 2 was seen as too hard for American children. Mario 2 can truly kiss my grits.
via Wiki

– Pac-Man on NES just always seemed out of place. Like Bret Hart in WCW.

– The Excitebike noise has been stuck in my head since I read the words “Excitebike” in the list of games.

– Love how Nintendo skipped the original Mega Man and went with only Mega Man 2. Save the storage instead of adding the original for nostalgia sake. And that old Mega Man box cover was weird as fuck.

– The most underrated game nobody knows about is Dusty Diamond All-Star Softball. You get to draft your team from a bunch of random kids and monsters. Each character has different traits and talents. Sooooooooo ridiculously ahead of its time. It takes a few games to get used to it, but worth the learning curve. It’s tough to find if you have an old school system, but obviously can be found on emulator. And if you are going to play, here are a few tips. Slick is basically rookie season Mike Trout, Mikey and Sparky have cannons like Vlad Guerrero, and Diablo is Adam Dunn.

– For that reason, they need to have an easy way to play games that aren’t on that list. I wasn’t a big Duck Hunt guy because that dog was such a dickhead. But Nintendo has to offer a Duck Hunt plus USB gun package, right?

And just because its relevant and was a similar topic of discussion yesterday, my NES Mount Rushmore is Punch Out, Mario 3, RBI Baseball, and Tecmo Bowl.

h/t Deli