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This Cute As a Button Grandma Was Arrested For Being a Big Time Narcotics Dealer Who Gave Her Clients Chips and Juiceboxes

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NJ – A month-long investigation into someone selling prescription pain pills from an East Ward home ended with the arrest of the alleged dealer: a 71-year-old grandmother.

Police allege Eudean McMillan protected her pills – brands of oxycodone and other medications – with a .38-caliber handgun and a sawed-off shotgun. Despite the unit’s name, officers familiar with the operation said McMillan was not violent, but cooperative and friendly – although allegedly well armed.

Officers said she also had a stock of juice boxes and small bags of chips – the kind parents usually pack for kids lunches – and offered them to her buyers. McMillan is charged with numerous drug possession, drug dealing and firearms violations – including maintaining a narcotics nuisance, and possession of a firearm during a drug scheme. Inside McMillan’s home, investigators found $3,200 in cash, plus 165 pills, including Endo and Xanax, then the firearms.


If this isn’t the cutest drug bust of all time I don’t know what is. Just a nice little grandma, selling oxys to the community, sending her clients on their way with Juicy Juice and a bag of BBQ chips. Doesn’t get much more precious than that. What a charming, delightful woman. I bet people came to her from near and far for some nice motherly advice with some opiates on the side. She seems like such a sweet lady who just happened to have a few guns, a bunch of pills, and a contributor to the downfall of a community. But hey, people are going to get their drugs from somewhere right? So they might as well get a Werther’s Original, some relationship advice, and a story about the Underground Railroad in the mean time.


PS: Absolutely WOULD. What a bad ass chick. You know she’s into some kinky shit. Just some oxy’d up, rough n tumblin, ankle breakin, legs in the air like you just don’t care, boom boom room, hot n heavy, in the snow uphill both ways, good ol fashioned granny smashing.