The Guy With The Twitter Handle @DWade (Not Dwyane Wade) Had An Interesting Night Last Night
Twitter is such a wonderful place. Breaking news, viral content, and a website where this guy
Can be mistaken with this guy
I imagine nobody rooted harder for Dwyane Wade to quietly finish his days out in South Beach than Dan Wade. Twitter is a shitty enough place when you have a nondescript Twitter handle. But I bet @DWade’s mentions could probably melt the sun after Dwyane Wade does something great, terrible, or stupid. Instead of a nice quiet Wednesday night, our boy Dan was called a trader like famed grocer Trader Joe (not to be confused with being called a traitor like Benedict Arnold), learned about when some random dude busted his first nut when wearing a Dwyane Wade jersey, and had some old bat basically say that she hopes all the bad things in life happen to him and nobody else but him. All because of that magical tiny little blue bird and a millionaire athlete. And just a reminder to Dan: The Miami Heat play in Florida. So once the rest of the Florida residents wakeup from their meth induced hangovers, those mentions are about to suffer a pretty serious aftershock.
That being said, if you chose the handle @DWade, @SteveJobs, or @BrandonMarshall, you 100% deserve what is coming to you. It’s not like these guys were born with the name Michael Bolton or something. Then again, it’s probably nice to have a guy like @JonJones in the bunker with you when shit goes down. I feel like these Twitter people probably have some crazy internet bond that rivals brotherhood or at least the Wack Pack from Howard Stern.