The Roundball Recap Of Last Night's Kick Off To NBA Free Agency
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Last night at 12:01 AM EST, NBA teams were officially able to start negotiating with free agents. And while it didn’t get extremely crazy, but we had a few highlights of the greatest free agency season in sports as the salary cap starts to skyrocket.
First, terms of the Knicks rumored deal with Joakim Noah came out.
Four years, huh? So a whole Presidential race and Olympics will happen by the time this Noah deal is done. Again, I love the idea of a healthy Noah. But I am terrified of the idea of an injured, expensive, long-term contract Noah. And I admit this one hurt because it’s the most accurate tweet I have ever read.
I blogged about Noah yesterday and will blog about him more if/when he signs. But if you are asking if I am scared about the Knicks signing an injury prone player for a 4-year/$72 million contract, my answer is:
And when you add in that you are getting a center, a leader, and a recruiter in Noah, $72 million for 4 years is a bargain.
The cruelest joke the basketball gods play on Knicks fans is that LeBron filmed The Decision in Greenwich, Connecticut and Kevin Durant is talking to teams in Long Island. I’m talking Greek tragedy type stuff.
Annnnd now I hope that Lil B rains locusts upon Kevin Durant’s world for the rest of KD’s life.
In other news, we found out that Phil Jackson actually was awake after midnight to place a call to Courtney Lee, which has to be seen as a W for Knicks fans.
No way Phil wakes up unless somebody shakes him though. He’s too old for a simple phone call wake him up and I am 99.999% sure he can’t set an iPhone alarm. I bet Kurt Rambis was designated as Phil’s wakeup guy.
Also, there is no way Phil was talking to Eric Gordon’s people at 2:30 AM
And while the thought of the Knicks investing money in Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, AND Eric Gordon terrifies me, those worries will melt away if they throw a few million to lure the Phoenix Suns medical staff to The Garden.
Championship!
However, if the Knicks sign Austin Rivers, I will murder someone in cold blood.
Luckily the Lakers made Knicks fans feel a little better with this gem.
KABOOM!!! WOJ BOMB!!!!
If a Woj bomb comes via the Vertical Twitter handle, is it a VERTICAL BOMB? Eh, who cares.
Mozzy, you big beautiful bastard! The Lakers just doing what the Lakers do. Steal the best big man in the league regardless of cost.
Sorry NBA fans but the Lakers just did it again!
And yet another example that the NFL has the worst player union in sports.
Best of luck to Magic Johnson Spin Zoning that contract. And just a heads up to D’Angelo Russell. If you ever try to “prank” Mozzy by leaking what he does in his private life on Snapchat, this is what’s going to happen to you.
Of course Big Cat’s boy was talking to his sources and dropping pure heat for the Brou Crew members that stayed awake past their bedtimes. No way Cuban can call out Lil C The SourceGod for being wrong about this one.
We also got news that Chandler Parsons received a max offer from the Blazers.
Big night for guys with brains that are also really good at basketball.
DeMar DeRozan and Bradley Beal also immediately re-upped with their current teams for big money, which is always frowned upon since it doesn’t allow us to figure out who they are going to sign with based on who they just started following on Twitter.
Reaction of fans that love connecting dots and fake rumors:
And finally, just like last year, we had the Mavericks going after a free agent center that protects the rim
I was praying to God Hassan Whiteside would verbally agree to a deal with Dallas before spurning their offer after Dwyane Wade and Pat Riley visited his house, which would set off The Great Emoji War of 2016.
But instead Whiteside stuck with what he knew by announcing his intentions on Snapchat, which I’m sure made DJ Khaled proud. Letting your fans and media members know that you won’t announce your signing until the morning is a major key.
As is an A+ usage of a Will Smith classic when announcing your decision. “I’m taking my talents to South Beach” doesn’t have shit on Big Willie Style.
Which led to this ridiculousness.
You have got to be fucking kidding me. Hassan Whiteside being good enough for the Players Tribune was eye-opening.
Then again, being listed as a “contributor” by the Players Tribune is basically one level up from being the guy that replaces the urinal cakes, so I guess it all evens out.
#NeverForget