Honestly, Using The Philadelphia Area As A Basis For The Next Grand Theft Auto Game Makes Perfect Sense

Seriously. You got the main city with all the landmarks, history, and mafia ties (they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly last night…). You have the Atlantic City coastline with casinos and hookers for days. Then you can stretch it out to the Pocono’s where all the rednecks can breed with each other and have meth on the top of their food pyramid. Shit, you even got the Amish life going down right outside of town. It really is a perfect setting and, finally, a change up from the NYC/Liberty City and LA/San Andreas life. The only argument I would have against the move is if they try to bring back Vice City. I miss going top down, tits up, and jamming to You Wanna Be Startin’ Something in the Miami heat.

But if Philly is the setting, this game is a must buy for yours truly. It could be the most internal disappointment I’ve experienced in video games since the brief time they took away fighting in EA’s NHL games or when the PC Police threatened to take away Lara Croft’s tits. It doesn’t matter, still gotta make the purchase out of respect. How can you call yourself a Philadelphian and cruise your virtual streets killing as many people as possible? You can’t. Anyone can knock on my door Fairmount if they want to dance on the Art Museum steps. Or we can rumble in South Philly and I’ll beat down hookers worse than our sports teams get massacred on a regular basis. Head to Camden and improve the scenery with a couple of Molotov Cocktails in the streets. I step foot out of my apartment maybe twice a week so at least it’ll give me an excuse to voyage around town and feel like I’m accomplishing something.

PS – Cue the “Oh I bet the game will still be 100x safer than most parts of Philly.” Real original…wait, if you’re talking about parts of West or North Philadelphia, that statement may not be that far off.