Sumner Redstone's Signature Evolution Is A Thing Of Beauty

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Photo illustration by New York Post

 

 

Maybe the greatest metaphor for aging I’ve ever seen. We all know old ass people get to a point where they literally don’t care about anything. They wear ridiculous outfits. They drive like everybody’s on horseback in the wild west. They park on the nearest slab of concrete to their destination. It’s going through every single aspect of life like “whatever” and they own it. Super old people don’t care about anything and that’s fine. That’s the way it is. You get old and you stop caring. The circle of life.

But never before have I seen that reality personified so simply. So perfectly. This evolution of media mogul Sumner Redstone’s signature is the definition of aging. Started out like all of our signatures — first couple letters very legible and the rest gets you to “yep that kinda says his name.”

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But the contemporary version?

Done. Sumner’s 100% mailed it in. Not just on a career or on a relationship. He’s mailed it in on life. He’s done. Like I’m pretty sure he made that mark in the process of dropping out of his chair. Pen just slid across the paper as he fell off his chair and into a pile of dust on the floor.

And this one?

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Come on man. That’s twitter stock since the Portnoy investment, sure. But that’s not a signature. This guy’s toast.. stop making him sign shit and just pull the plug already.