NYPOST - A man attacked a woman on the Upper East Side by bizarrely stuffing a bag of feces down her shorts, police said. Surveillance video shows the 27-year-old victim on her cellphone on East 74th Street near First Avenue at about 6 p.m. Monday when the attacker approached her from behind. Wearing gloves, he grabbed the woman’s shorts at the waist and shoved the bag of excrement down the back. After a brief struggle, he peeled off his latex gloves and tossed them into the street as he fled.
It was not clear whether the bag contained human waste or animal feces.
Welcome to New York City! This is where I choose to live. In the worst city in the fucking world. Where manners and general decorum do NOT apply. Where women hump the floors of the subway and men stuff shit down women’s pants. That is New York City. KFC and Big Cat will probably say this makes you tough. This makes you focus. Folks this is the end of the world. I’m in Boston right now for that movie premiere thing tonight and I hate myself for selling Barstool and moving to NY. It’s the worst decision in my life. Boston is so fucking beautiful. New York is so fucking gross. And you know what the scary part is? I can’t guarantee that I won’t be that guy shoving poop down people’s pants in 5 years. That’s just what NYC does to a man. It breaks you down and turns you into an animal.
PS – Is the NY Post serious asking whether it was animal poop or human poop? Of course it was human poop! What’s the point of putting some other animals feces down a chick’s ass? Learn how to fetish for me 1 time.
Somebody Cue the Music!