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The Rock Claiming He Hadn't Had Candy Since 1989 Is Why He Looks Like Him And I Look Like Me

FB – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is known for his killer diets, and even his insane cheat meals, but one thing he doesn’t indulge in, is candy.

The Central Intelligence star went on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, talked about how he’s never really been a candy person, and said the last time he had one was back in 1989, when he enjoyed a Twizzler at the movie theater. Of course, with this information, host Jimmy Fallon baited The Rock into taking his first bite of candy in 27 years. Fallon pulled out some Pop Rocks, Twizzlers, Ring Pops, Nerds Rope, and even a giant phallic gummy worm. Ultimately, Jimmy sensually poured some Pop Rocks in the Rock’s mouth and he responded with, “So that’s what candy tastes like. Wow, that’s amazing. It’s great.”

I haven’t a clue if the Rock is telling the truth here. Not having candy in 27 years is proposterous. Think about how many things you do by accident in your life. And now think about how delicious candy is. A man going 27 years without eating any candy is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. How do you not buy a bag of sour patch kids at the airport? How do you not eat delicious movie theater candy? Hit up the vending machine at a hotel? The Rock is on the road 24×7, and just has the will power not to down bags of M&Ms? It’s unbelievable. But that’s why The Rock is worth 100 million dollars and I’m blogging from a coffee shop. That’s why the Rock looks like he’s carved from the most luxurious caramel colored stone and why I look like a plate of moldy potatoes. But what I have that he doesn’t have is a cupboard full of candy to go home to, and so in a way, I’m the real winner here (I’m not. I’m most certainly not.)

PS: I watched the video on mute but I assume I missed some wacky, wacky jokes from Fallon about that dick looking candy. Bummed I couldn’t hear him slap his desk 100 times during that clip. Going to have to re-watch it when I get home. Wouldn’t want to miss that wackiness.