Dear God, The Knicks Have Reportedly Discussed Trading For Derrick Rose
ESPN- The New York Knicks are looking to upgrade their backcourt, and one player on their radar is Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose. The Knicks have had internal discussions recently about trading for Rose, league sources tell ESPN. The Bulls’ interest in trading Rose, 27, is unknown at this point. The Knicks do not have many strong trade chips outside of Carmelo Anthony, Kristaps Porzingis and future first-round draft picks. Both Knicks coach Jeff Hornacek and GM Steve Mills have said that the Knicks are interested in upgrading their point-guard position in the offseason. The Knicks’ incumbent starting point guard is Jose Calderon, while other potential point guards include second-year guard Jerian Grant and free-agent signee Tony Wroten.
I am sending out my prayers to everybody involved in these rumors. First off to Derrick Rose, whose body should probably go nowhere near Madison Square Garden, which was apparently built over an Indian burial ground. Nobody electrifies Twitter more than Derrick Rose when he gets hurt. Memes for days. Add that in with the constant clowning of the Knicks and we have a potentially explosive situation. After decades of being a Knicks fan, the idea of Derrick Rose getting hurt during his introductory press conference seems like a very real possibility to me. Actually not even getting hurt but exploding into a billion pieces like Mega Man when he dies.
Next up I feel for Knicks fans, who are used to these types of rumors. We get excited about players potentially signing with our team when they are free agents during their prime, only to be let down. Then we usually acquire the stars once they are washed up and/or injured. And third, my prayers go out to Bulls fans. Actually fuck that. I don’t feel bad for Bulls fans one iota. Six championships and the greatest player ever in the 90s followed by building a competitive team thanks partially to the Eddy Curry trade that had the Knicks in basketball purgatory for years. I hope years and years of GarPax is ahead of Bulls fans.
The one thing that doesn’t add up to me is how the Knicks would make a trade. Due to Rose’s salary, the Knicks would have to include two of Robin Lopez (I don’t wanna trade him), Jose Calderon (PLEASE GOD TRADE HIM), and Arron Afflalo (doubtful because he is likely to opt out). I guess if the Knicks can get Afflalo to opt in with the promise he keeps his contract for next year in Chitown it could work.
As a Knicks fan, I guess wouldn’t hate having D Rose on a one year prove it deal if that money is going to go unused. In Hornacek’s system with Melo and Porzingis handling the brunt of the scoring. I love Jerian Grant, but we still need point guards to make Hornacek’s system run and it’s Derrick fucking Rose. Mr. Rose Grew From The Concrete himself. And P.J. Rose comes with Derrick, right? That’s a win for sure because he’s always wearing the face that Knicks fans make whenever a big move is made by the franchise.
Shit, I hoped I wouldn’t start talking myself into this trade. I’ve seen what Derrick Rose does to Bulls fans. Big Cat is always chasing his own damn tail in the spinzone with that guy. Having the most injury prone superstar in the NBA alongside #Me7o and this dickhead would definitely kill me.
And you know how I know that Derrick Rose has never been seriously linked to the Knicks before? I couldn’t find any good Photoshops of him wearing a Knicks jersey. The first time a rumor about a player going to a new team pops up, the best Photoshoppers in the world make it look like a player has been wearing that jersey for years. A rumor isn’t official until that first Photoshop drops. Instead I had to settle on a pic of some kid who traded for D Rose in NBA2K on YouTube.