This Girl Seems Way Too Illiterate To Have Such A Demanding And Egotistical Tinder Bio

CS2-MAYBELEAD

 

I see nothing wrong with having standards, even on Tinder which is a land of no laws in which people are vigorously judging you often while in the middle of taking a dump. But to me it’s sort of a sliding scale on how much you can judge; the more valuable you are in how you present yourself, the more you can get away with in terms of disqualifying other people before they’re even interested in you. And if you’re almost legally a midget, don’t seem to understand what an apostrophe is, and don’t even have your name spelled correctly, you can’t go around demanding the world of others. And you especially can’t close with something like “have a thought” as if there was some high level communication here. Overall: I’ll take this chick one on one any time and any place on behalf of all you short bearded husky men out there. Together we can take this tiny and gorgeous yet hurtful woman. (via CS)

 

And hey it’s another week of the world’s #1 ranked Tinder blog. We’re officially in summer mode here so that means one thing: When this blog hits you can leave the office the second after you click it. Thanks to everyone who sent stuff in, please do go ahead and follow me and DM me your submissions, and let’s go. Summa summa summertiiiiime.

 

 

MS1

MS2-gottarespectafullcharliekellyprofile

Gotta respect someone going with the full Charlie Kelly profile (via MS)

 

 

illy-thissoundslikesomethingyoudfindonpornhub

This seems like a scenario that’d kick off a taboo incest scene trending on Spankbang (via Illy)

 

 

AWD-carissadidntneedtoexplainitall

Carissa didn’t need to explain it all (via AWD)

 

 

AC-shesbringingcuntback

Looks like this chick is bringing “cunt” back but for real (via AC)

 

 

MK-ifyouregonnadoagreencardmarriagethatisexactlythekindofgirlyoudoitfor

If you’re gonna do a green card marriage this is exactly the kind of girl you do it for (via MK)

 

 

 

B-theguywhosentthisincalleditahotdogtongueandiveneverheardyourtonguecurledcalledthatbeforealsothosetits

The guy who sent this in called it a hot dog tongue and I’ve never heard a curled tongue called that before. Also those tits. (via B)

 

 

A-thisgirliskindasexyforaclownright

This girl is kinda sexy for a clown, right? (via A)

 

 

JD-icanthinkofnobetterwaytosayfucktheorlandoshooter

I can think of no better way to say fuck the Orlando shooter than strong blood donated boners persevering (via JD)

 

 

K-inpublicisastartbuteverywhereisthegoal

In public is a start but cutting it off everywhere is a goal (via K)

 

 

CV1

CV2-bigtitconfidenceonfulldisplayasalways

That big tit confidence is on full display, just as we’ve grown to expect (via CV)

 

 

CS-iwouldswiperightforallthreeofthem

I would swipe right for all three of them, same would go for Ders or Blake (via CS)

 

 

EM1

EM2-thisisoneimputtinginherejustbecausethisgirlhasanunbelievablyhotinstagram

This is one f I’m putting in here because this girl has an unbelievably hot Instagram (via EM)

 

 

DR-notsayingitsthatgirlsspeedbutthatisatonguethatcanlicksomeballsandanassatthesametime

Not saying this is that girl’s speed but that is a tongue that can lick some balls and an ass at the same time (via DR)

 

 

JF-evenwhenpittsburghdoesntseemthatbaditsstillgotsomeobvioustrashyflaws

Even when Pittsburgh doesn’t seem that bad it still has some obvious shall we say Grit going (via JF)

 

 

KK-thatseemslikethatwouldbetheoppositeofhowyoueliminatethewhiterace

That seems like it would be the opposite of how you’d eliminate the white race (via KK)

 

 

DC-isupposeicegirlscountascheerleadersonbumbletechnically

I suppose ice girls count as cheerleaders on Bumble…technically (via DC)

 

 

DK-PAIRWITHICEGIRLthereyougoanactualcheerleader

…there we go, an actual cheerleader. You’ve still got it Bumble (via DK)

 

 

J-PAIRWITHICEGIRLandhotsaucespicinemuponbumbletoo

And on the girl size, Hot Sauce is on Bumble making em burn too. Good for him (via J)

 

 

DH-jedseemslikeadouchebutpostinghisawfultextsasaprofilepicmeanshessoinherhead

Jed seems like a douche but posting his awful messages as a profile pic means he got in her head BAD (via DH)

 

 

JMI1

JM2-sheseemslikeaperfectlyswellladybutidratherhaveatumorinmylifethansomeonelikeher

She seems like a perfectly swell lady but I’d rather have a tumor in my life than someone like her (via JM)

 

 

GB-notaninaccuratepointbutiwouldntmindseeingthisgirlcryonsunday

Not an inaccurate point but I wouldn’t mind seeing this girl cry on Sunday (via GB)

 

 

AC1

 

AC-mainetindervsmainebumbleseemsrtohavesomebigdisparities

Maine Tinder versus Maine Bumble seems to not be separate but equal (via AC)

 

 

xtine

Based solely upon looks, I assume he’s donating the orgasms by throwing them at women like Migs in Silence of the Lambs (via Xtine)

 

 

T-ivepostedthisbiobeforeandimnotsureifitsthesamegirlbutitsstillfunnyenoughtopostagain

I’ve posted this bio before and I’m not sure if it’s the same girl but it’s funny enough to post again (via T)

 

 

BP-spokenlikeaproudbarstoolwoman

Spoken like a true Barstool woman (via BP)

 

 

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

 

 

DK-HOTNSFWformersmokeshowsneedlovetoo

Former Smokeshows need love too (via DK)

 

 

M1-HOTNSFW

M2-hashtagcontent

#contentcontentcontent (via M)

 

 

R-HOTNSFWkindanarrowdickoranoversizedheadbutsomethingsoffthere

Kinda narrow dick or an oversized head but something is off here (via R)

 

 

dav-HOTNSFWcantpossiblyberealbutiwanthertobe

Can’t possibly be real but I want her to be in every facet (via Dav)

 

 

creamy-HOTNSFW

(via Creamy)

 

 

SD-farawaybuttshot

Far away butt shots stay fashionable as ever (via SD)

 

 

DS-HOTNSFWslightlytoofarawaybuttshot

Sliiiightly too far away butt shot (via DS)

 

 

A-HOTNSFWbioisclichebutthecomboofitwithabikinipicworkedforme

The bio is cliché but the combo of it with the bikini pic worked for me (via A)

 

 

KA-HOTNSFWthatisaverytastefulamountofsideboob

That is a very tasteful amount of sideboob (via KA)

 

 

 

DG-HOTNSFWeverythingaboutthisscreamscougar

Everything about this woman from her head to her toes SCREAMS cougar (via DG)

 

 

FE-HOTNSFWlinktodogfilterarticle

Apparently part of why the dog filter makes everyone look cute is because it covers up your nose, “the butthole of the face” (via FE)

 

 

PMR-HOTNSFWseemslikethekindoffriendicouldusemoreofinmylife

Seems like the kind of friend we could all use more of in our lives (via PMR)

 

 

POG-HOTNSFWrealfakeidontknowbutillperusepornhubjustincase

Real, fake, I don’t know but I’ll peruse her PornHub catalog just in case

 

And there we have it, another week in the books. Follow me on Twitter and send me your screenshots, thanks to everyone who sent things in, and happy swiping!